the JOKE thread

[VoxRatio]

Why did the elephant paint it's balls red?
So it looked like a cherry.

Why did Tarzan die?
He was picking cherries.

[ViperGTI]

Got this today... Sorry, but only have it as pictures

[shadowfox]

If you want the rest of his material (there's a lot of it) then go to http://www.27bslash6.com/

[Intoxik8ed]

n Boer raak vreeslik kwaad vir een van sy plaaswerkers, en is sommer lus en
klap hom onderstebo.

Sy vrou sê, hy moet hom nie so vererg vir die werker nie, hy moet eerder
oor die saak bid.

Die aand loop sy vrou verby hulle kamer, en hoor hoe die boer bid: "Vader,
en in verband met Johannes, gaan U hom kom haal, of moet ek hom vir U
stuur?"

[ViperGTI]

If you want the rest of his material (there's a lot of it) then go to http://www.27bslash6.com/

Thanks... I think that is going to keep my busy for a while

[iNNOS4iNT]

What's worse than finding six dead babies in a trash can?

{answer in white}

Finding one baby in six trash cans!


Here's another one:

A bergie walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a toothpick.
The bartender says no, and that the bergie should get lost. The bergie replies that no, he won't get lost until the bartender gives him a toothpick.
The bartender agrees and gives him a toothpick. The bergie gets lost.

Then another bergie walks in, and asks for a toothpick. The bartender says no, get lost. The bergie replies that he won't get lost until the bartender gives him a toothpick. The bartender agrees, and gives him a toothpick. The bergie gets lost.

Then a third bergie walks into the bar and asks, "Can I have a straw?"
The bartender says, " Why can't you have a toothpick like the rest of your friends?"
The bergie replies, "Well, you see, someone vomited on the pavement outside and all of the lumpy bits have been taken."

Pretty groos, eh? That's all I have for now!

Yeah wow yeah. That's quite disturbing.

[lordvushu]

Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them. After hours of tests, he agreed he could help. He told them to stop at the store on the way home and buy donuts and grapes. Mrs. Smith was to toss the donuts at Mr.Smith's erection and eat the ones that stayed on. Mr.Smith was to roll the grapes across the floor and eat the ones that became lodged in Mrs. Smith's love canal.

A few weeks later, the Jones came to see the doctor. "Our friends the Smiths told us to come to you." they said.

The doctor ran the tests and came back to the Jonses. He told them he was sorry but there was just nothing he could do. The Jonses said "You helped the Smiths, why won't you help us?"

After continued begging from the Jonses, the doc said "ok, ok ... stop by the market on the way home and buy a box of Cheerios and a bag of oranges."

[Saint_Dee]

Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them. After hours of tests, he agreed he could help. He told them to stop at the store on the way home and buy donuts and grapes. Mrs. Smith was to toss the donuts at Mr.Smith's erection and eat the ones that stayed on. Mr.Smith was to roll the grapes across the floor and eat the ones that became lodged in Mrs. Smith's love canal.

A few weeks later, the Jones came to see the doctor. "Our friends the Smiths told us to come to you." they said.

The doctor ran the tests and came back to the Jonses. He told them he was sorry but there was just nothing he could do. The Jonses said "You helped the Smiths, why won't you help us?"

After continued begging from the Jonses, the doc said "ok, ok ... stop by the market on the way home and buy a box of Cheerios and a bag of oranges."

It should be a sign of caution that I'm dying of laughter xD

[shadowfox]

Hi Bob,

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs,if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up, she goes out with the girls a lot.

I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat.

When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket

[shadowfox]

Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

A: He drank his coffee before it was cool.