5 worst games of 2011 (so far)
Holding thumbs that this list doesn’t change before January 2012
I’ve come to realise that we at MyGaming are rather nice when it comes to reviewing games.
No game is perfect – and games, even some of the bad ones, often have a specific audience in mind that isn’t us, or has some other purpose in the market.
But every now and then, a game will come along that’s just bad. Plainly, and purely horrible – so much so, that their very existence is simply to fill lists like this one.
Broken, messy code; graphics that make your eyes swell with confusion and disgust; mechanics that seem put together by monkeys banging on keyboards – all characteristics that have but one redeeming quality – the fact that they give us something to rip off.
Let’s check out 5 of the worst games we’ve had the displeasure of playing this year, so far.
5. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Average Score: 58%
MyGaming Score: 40%
Movie-to-game adaptations: need we even say more?
The adaptation of the third Transformers movie (that’s the one without Megan Fox in it) isn’t the first horrible attempt from a game to milk the media-consuming public dry – nor will it be the last.
Vague plot, shallow gameplay and lasting about as long as it takes me to do my hair – not everyone thought the game was bad; but around here, we care little for this half-arsed excuse for a game.
Developers, High Noon, are also responsible for Transformers: War for Cybertron which was actually a good game – proving, once again, that the only reason Dark of the Moon exists is because it’s a rushed title to cash-in on the popularity of a movie.
Defining review quote: “It’s just another vapid, instantly forgettable sequel that seems to have missed the point of what made the first game fun”
4. Duke Nukem Forever
Average Score: 49%
MyGaming Score: 50%
When Duke Nukem Forever finally launched, the gaming community was split – half* of us expected the game to bomb on a monumental scale, while the other half* had eyes lit up with anticipation of a game that would rock the world so hard it would explode.
What we got was a bare-average romp filled with “meh” gameplay, lame “adult” humour and a plot and feel that was straight out of the 90s – but not in a good way (wait, can there be a good way?).
Duke, in the end, just came too late – and the reason he has a place on this list is because no one cares anymore.
As far as we’re concerned, developer 3D-Realms should have just left him in gaming purgatory – he at least had some sort of memetic legacy going for him over there.
Defining review quote: “It’s utterly disappointing to think that after 14 years of development, not a single design document or even a good solid gameplay idea emerged from the mire.”
* possibly maybe true
3. X-Men Destiny
Average Score: 48%
MyGaming Score: TBD
What is it with companies getting great IPs and then not really doing anything with them?
Yet another game that fails to do anything at all, X-Men Destiny gives you the chance to play as your favourite X-Me- oh, wait. It doesn’t.
Nope, with a wealth of popular, established characters at their disposal, Activision and Silicon Knights decide you should rather play as 3 new characters, as they repetitively battle it out with people you don’t care about, making decisions that are ultimately meaningless – contrary to what the blurbs will have you believe.
The game is so unappealing and deliriously drab, that it takes a session of self-pep-talk to actually sit down and play it.
Expect the MyGaming review to reflect this next week.
Defining review quote:”mindless combat and meaningless choices combine to create a new mutation of boredom.”
2. Call of Juarez: The Cartel
Average Score: 45%
MyGaming Score: 50%
Wasn’t Call of Juarez about cowboys?
Dropping the Wild West for modern-day LA was probably the first mistake made by Call of Juarez developers, Techland.
But definitely not the last.
The other mistakes include, but are not limited to, rushing a game out and making it buggy, frustrating and derivative in almost every single way.
Stupid AI, frustrating driving, hollow plot; the list goes on and on about the things that make this game worth giving a skip.
Defining review quote: “A rushed game with a clear lack of polish, Call of Juarez: The Cartel isn’t worth half its asking price – steer clear.”
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Average Score: 42%
MyGaming Score: 25%
If it were up to me (let’s pretend that it’s not) this top 5 list of the worst games this year would just be this game – one spot for every platform.
Bright Light’s Harry Potter franchise had everything going for it – an established IP, hugely successful movies and characters – basically a road map to potentially awesome games.
But like a rich kid who was born with a diamond spoon in his mouth, wasting his inheritance on snorting cocaine off of toilet seats in seedy clubs – they threw all that potential away.
Defining review quote: “I can only assume that this game was then designed for people who have no hands, no eyes and no sense of pleasure.”
Don’t agree? Or perhaps you’d like to share your worst game of this year so far – share your thoughts on the forum!
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