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Adventures in Freestateland

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The events I am about to share with you are not made up.
These events document my second foray into the wild unknown, simply called the Orange Free State.
**This follows on my initial report about Clarence, including the Drive through petrol station, the bar tender named Vivian and
the White River Rafting session of Doom on our old forums.

I had to go into the dreaded unknown for work this past week, armed only with my base survival instinct and the absolute essentials,
like Laptop, 3G modem etc.

It was just across the border to the Free State that I experienced the first of what was to be many strange encounters in this wild
and untamed land that time had not forgotten, but simply avoided out of choice.
Stopping for petrol at a Total garage that had seen its best days during the late eighties according to the look of the
pumps and signage, I was confronted by a petrol attendant and asked:
"Is this a Delorian ?"

I knew he was speaking of my car of course as on my previous trip into this province I had been asked this as well.
Prepared for the question, I paused for a moment, to emphasise what I was about to say, locked eyes with him and lied
"Yes, and I am indeed from the future"

ok that part is made up, but I absolutely had to

To save time and to help out those of you that have ADD, yes I'm speaking to you , I've surmised my experiences in a handy
checklist, these are commonly known occurences and will serve you well should you ever travel to the Free State and more
precisely , Oranjeville

You know you are in the Free State when:
The Hotel room does not come with an actual key, reason for this is that the previous guest lost it apparently
The waiter at the restaurant calls the portable Card Handset a computer
The guy behind the hotel reception desk is also the bartender
The bartender/receptionist answer the question as to whether or not the hotel has a Wi Fi access point with a puzzled stare,
accompanied by the words " What's That ?"
Asking for directions includes the phrase " When you see the Scheepers farm on your left, you've gone to far"
When those same directions lead to an argument between the couple you are asking about whether or not it will take you 6 or 7 minutes
to get to your requested destination.
When you see a guy sporting an all white belt, with matching cellphone clip <--------- R4CE, please take note
When your hotel room has a used candle in it for those long outages
When there is not a single space in the entire room to put a laptop down to work on
When you can drive through a town in less than 2 minutes
When the local mosquitos are big enough to rip off your head and drink you like a "Coke"
When those same mosquitos are deemed "Wildlife"
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