I just opened a fortune cookie, it reads 'The rainbow's treasures will soon belong to you.' ... I wonder if it's talking about that twink that's been hitting on me.
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I just opened a fortune cookie, it reads 'The rainbow's treasures will soon belong to you.' ... I wonder if it's talking about that twink that's been hitting on me.
whahahahhahahaah. lets hope before then.Quote:
Originally Posted by Weasley
Klein jannie kom by die trappe af in trane
Sy ma vra vir hom wats fout seun hoekom huil jy so?
Jannie antwoord "pappa was besig om foto's op die muur te sit toe slaan hy sy duim raak"
sy ma sê vir hom "ek weet jou pa het seer gekry maar dis nie die einde van die wereld nie, as ek jy was sou ek gelag het"
Jannie antwoord, Maar ma ek het gelag
3 stout seuntjies stry oor wie se pa die grootste is.
1ste seuntjie : My pa is so groot , as hy by die deur in kom moet hy so af buk om nie sy kop te stamp nie !
2de seuntjie : dis niks ! My pa is so groot , as hy regop staan , steek sy kop daar bo by die wolke uit !
3de seuntjie : Nou wat sien jou pa as sy kop daar bo by die wolke uit steek ?
2de seuntjie : Hy sien 'n gat daar bo.
3de seuntjie : Dis my pa se gat wat hy daar sien !
o shucks......................... this is hilarious i roflmaod in real life
lol you should google demotivate rainbow...... everyone wants that treasure ;)
A blonde and a brunett where on ther way to heaven and the brunette asked the blonde "how did you die" ?
The blonde said "I had a heart attack, how about you"
And the brunette says "I froze to death, what caused your heart attack"
The blonde said "It started when I came home from work and I saw a womans car in the drive way"
"I rushed in to the house and asked my husband where are you hiding her"
"He said hiding who, but I started looking around the house, I was so angry I dropped to the floor."
Finally the brunette says "Damn!! If you had just looked in the freezer we'd both have lived.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Shopping for a Husband
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.