Just read this status on facebook:
Quote:
Being in the friend zone is like an employer turning you down for a job then calling you regularly complaining about the person they hired.
Printable View
Just read this status on facebook:
Quote:
Being in the friend zone is like an employer turning you down for a job then calling you regularly complaining about the person they hired.
You know you're old when you fall asleep on the couch, and wake up on the couch...
I fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch so I must be old.....not, only 26 :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Vampothic
Keep telling yourself that grandpa. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Ichigo
"Forever young, he wants to be, forever young..."Quote:
Originally Posted by Ichigo
I know that song cant stop singing it now :p and I actually do wish I was a kid again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vampothic
Sometimes I do to.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ichigo
But I'm grown up... Wishful thinking gets you nowhere :D
Read this one in the newspaper today:
Farmer catches a guy stealing a sheep from his kraal. Fuming the farmer marches the thief up to his barn and takes a sjambok from the wall while handing the guy a normal six-sided die.
"Roll the die. If it lands on any number from 1 to 5, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you, buddy."
"And what if it lands on six?"
"Normal rules. You get to roll again."
A man met a woman at a bar and was invited back to her place. He naturally thought he was the luckiest man alive.
At her place, after slipping in to something more comfortable, and having had a few drinks, they got to the bed.
"You don't mind if I take a few things off do you?" she asked.
"Go right ahead," the man said with a sly grin.
The woman proceeded to take off one of her arms. The man wasn't entirely put off by this and was still raring to go. But then the woman took off her wig. Then out came a glass eye. She then removed her bra which contained a false breast.
"Just close your eyes and think of England as they say," the man thought to himself.
After all this, the woman removed her false leg.
"Okay I'm ready now!" she giggled.
"Ag, you know what, just unscrew it and I'll sort myself out, all right?"
Jannie is in Weskoppies, omdat hy 'n obsessie het oor ketties. Na 6 maande besluit hulle om hom te her-evalueer en vra: "Wat sal jy doen as jy 'n miljoenrand wen?"
"Ek sal vir my 'n kakhuis vol ketties koop" sê hy.
"Nee, jy's mal, sit hom terug in sy padded sel", laat die sielkundiges weet.
6 Maande later evalueer hulle hom weer. "Wat sal jy doen as jy 'n miljoen rand wen?" is die vraag weer.
"Ek sal dit belê?" sê hy.
"Mooi, ek dink jy kom reg, in wat sal jy dit bele?" vra hulle.
"In bosbou en Goodyear sodat ek baie hout en rubber kan maak, sodat ek baie ketties kan maak!"
"Terug in sy sel!" antwoord die sielkundiges.
Weer sulke tyd 6 maande later en weer is die vraag: "Wat sal jy maak as jy 'n miljoen wen?"
Na hy so 'n tydjie diep gedink het, sê hy: "Ek sal vir my 'n Porsche koop"
"En dan?"
"Dan sal ek rondry en vir my 'n hot girl optel."
"Jis, jis en dan?"
"Dan sal ek haar wine en dine."
"Nee, lyk vir my jy's gesond, maar vertel verder wat jy beplan?"
"Dan sal ek haar huis toe vat en bietjie begin vry."
"Ja, en dan?"
"Dan sal ek haar pantie uittrek."
"Ja, ja en dan?"
"Dan sal ek die rek uit die pantie haal en vir my 'n FOKKEN kettie maak!!!"