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A man asked his friend, "what is a dilemma actually?"
The friend replied, "well there is nothing better than an example to illustrate that :
Imagine that you are lying in bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side and a gay man on the other.
Who are you going to turn your back on?
Damn, that's a real dilemma :)Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienTaker
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink. "Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink." The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
*Makes note of this in case of car accident in future*Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienTaker
Edited out.
Just look at all the security measures taken at Nkandla, the homestead with the HIGHEST expenditure of all public works projects in history!
It includes:
- Indoor swimming pool - R2,65 mil.
- Cinema - R1,8 mil.
- Games arcade - R10,3 mil.
- Industrial kitchen - R15,5 mil.
- Tuck shop - R1,1 mil.
- Underground bunker - R 22,1 mil.
- Entertainment bar area - R11,5 mil.
- Gymnasium - R8.2 mil.
- Library - R1,33 mil.
- Art and Décor interior designing - R21,2 mil.
- Architecture design- R18 mil.
One thing is certain, they will definitely NOT die of boredom!!!
Note how little he spends on a library. There cannot be too many colouring books!?
Two hunters were standing in the forest. One of the hunters suddenly collapses. The other takes out his cell phone and dials 911. The operator answers, "Hello, what is your emergency?" The hunter replies, "I was hunting with my friend and I think he's dead! What should I do?" The operator then tells him, "Make sure that he is dead." The man says, "Just a second." There is silence on the phone and suddenly a loud gunshot is heard. The man then asks the operator, "Okay, now what?"
Classic joke that can be re-imagined in any way...Quote:
Originally Posted by MalicE
A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."