LOL good ones wacko
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LOL good ones wacko
Sorry about the caps, just not in the mood to retype.
TWEE OUENS IN WOOLWORTHS STAMP MEKAAR SE WINKELTROLLIES DIE EEN SÊ: "HEL, EK'S JAMMER, MAN, MAAR EK SOEK MY VROU."
DIS TOEVALLIG. EK SOEK MYNE OOK."
"MISKIEN KAN ONS MEKAAR HELP. HOE LYK JOU VROU?"
"SY'S LANK. SY'T LANG, DONKER HARE, LANG BENE MET MOOI KUITE, GROTERIGE, FERM TIETE EN 'N OULIKE, STYWE GAT.
HOE LYK JOUNE?"
"FOK DIT. KOM ONS SOEK JOUNE."
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by DenSweeP
Working in the IT Services Industry :
1. We work in weird shifts and weird hours... Like prostitutes
2. They pay you to make the client happy... Like a prostitute
3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny... Like a prostitute
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams... Like a prostitute
5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you... Like a prostitute
6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed..... Like a prostitute
7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell... Like a prostitute
8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you... Like a prostitute
9. When people ask you about your Job, you have difficulties to explain it... Like a prostitute
10. Every day when you wake up, you say: I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING THIS"..... Like a prostitute
THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
MY DEAR HUSBAND,
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.
Regards, Your EX-Wife.
PS. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to away together! Have a great life!
DEAR EX-WIFE,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was "You look just like a guy!" Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.
About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I won the 20 million dollar Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Heard this on cod....
I broke up with my cross eyed girlfriend,I think she has been seeing someone else
JOKE OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!
Wat is die eerste ding wat n' blou bul se wanneer hy wakker word,
More Tannie......
LOOOL! nice one syco
Die enigste manier om 'n Sondagmiddag-knippie in te kry was deur hulle 8 jarige seunjie met 'n GROOT suigstokkie op die balkon uit te stuur met die versoek dat hy oor die omgewing, bure en straat aktiwiteite moet rapporteer.
Hy begin sy kommentaar so terwyl pa en ma hulle plan in aksie stel:
Daar word 'n kar uit die parkeer terrein uitgesleep.
'n Ambulans is nou net hier verby.
Die Anderson ’s het kuiermense gekry.
Marius het 'n nuwe fiets...
Dit lyk of die Standers besig is om te trek.
Jason ry al weer op sy skateboard.
Na 'n rukkie kondig hy aan: Die Petoorse is besig met seks!
Geskok vlieg ma en pa regop op die bed en pa vra versigtig: “Hoe weet jy hulle het seks?
"Anton staan op hulle balkon met 'n suigstokkie!"
Girl walks into a gay bar and tell the bartender:
"Give be something strong and fruity!"
Bartender replies:
"I would, but my boyfriend isn't into chicks."