Self sufficiency in today's youth and young adults

[to0kenZA]

This could be a touchy subject, but here's my point of view.

First off ... I live with my parents. Seems a bit silly when you consider my age, but, in all fairness, I pay rent, I help maintain the house, I contribute to groceries. Of course I get such perks as getting my laundry done (most of the time), and getting dinner most nights (which is also the only food I eat in the house - breakfast and lunch are own babies). My internet/phoneline costs I carry on my own (I had a seperate line installed).

I could move out - but I have a few things that stop me. First off, buying a house on my current salary is impossible, and I'm against paying rent for the simple reason that you're basically throwing money down a well - you get absolutely no return on it. And I'll eventually be inheriting my parent's place anyway - part of my rent goes towards paying the bond. Another factor preventing me is the fact that I'm planning to go overseas once I have my degree for a period of one or two years in the next 2 years - once I'm back I'll probably re-evaluate my options.

I realise a lot of guys out there will merely see these as excuses on my part, and others will see it as laziness - that's fair, each to their own. After all, I don't live my life for other people's approval.

Jobs-wise, my first job was delivering newspapers in high-school, also did various waitering stints and about 3 years at Mr Delivery. My current car was bought with money earned while pulling double-shifts as a waiter, 7 days a week.

I think my story is pretty much the same as yours!

When I was a student I also used to do all kinds of work to make a few bucks. Bartendering, doing catering work like doing a spitbraais for anything from 20 - 70 people on my own, delivering pizzas etc.

I have a proper job now, but I still haven't moved out, firstly because as you say, renting is like pissing your money away. My old man had a chat with me the other night about buying another house, where I will then go stay and pay the bond on that house. He wants to keep the money in the family rather than pissing it away into someone else's mortgage. If there's anyone I'd trust with money management, that would be my old man. He's been in HR for 40 years.

I also pay for all my stuff, my car, medical aid, retirement annuities etc etc, groceries and pretty much everything else besides meals at dinnertime. I also offered to pay my folks the money back for all my tertiary studies but my old man refused. I can't say that I'm unhappy about that, though! It's nice to get some perks, but I also do what I can, and when we go overseas as a family I pay almost all of my expenses.

So for me it only makes sense moving out once I've got my own place, paying it off and knowing that it's mine and not some other person's house that I'm throwing my hard earned money at.

Also, something else I wanted to discuss. I know back in the olden days, people used to stay with their parents a lot longer after school and studies. My father stayed with his folks until he was 28, then he got married, stayed there for another 2 years before him and my mom got their own place. I guess it was just part of the fact that they were a middle class family back then, but I don't see how that's a bad thing for families to stick together.

Some Portuguese families stay in large houses, with multiple families living under one roof. Where that might be their culture, it might obviously be non-traditional for, say, a South African family, but that's actually really cool because they keep all their money in the family, looking out for each other and sticking together.

In the end I think it's a matter of background as well as a family relevant thing. I don't think anyone can judge a person on something like this. You don't know their family and you don't know the circumstances in a person's life. You can learn to be self-sufficient, no matter what your current situation is. If I was to be kicked out of home for any reason, whether it be my folks passing away or something in that line, I would obviously be able to sustain myself. I would just really suck at making potjiekos :P


@Kerby: I don't agree with your list. Especially not the part where you say 30+ should be having kids etc. What if people don't want kids? I'd definitely be out of the house by that time, but that's not to say I even want kids at that age, let alone be married by that time. You can't put out a set of rules for any one individual person to follow. We're all unique in the way we plan our life and our priorities. No offence to you at all my good man, with this next statement, but trying to sum up how someone should live their life is nothing but judging, in my opinion at least.