Self sufficiency in today's youth and young adults

[Wyvern]

Im 30ish and I still live at home. Main reason being that I havent found a job yet (trust me I keep looking) that will let me move out. But I do pay rent to the parents, help out with the house cleaning, repairs and cooking. I also cover all my own expenses such as medical aid, car payments, insurance and so forth. So until I earn a decent salary its just not going to happen soon. But at least I dont sponge off of them at all. As a matter of fact, I paid my way thru cape tech, I started working as a babysitter at age 15 and I didnt get an allowance since then. The reason I stick it out altho it drives me nuts is this way I can still save a little (and I mean really a little) so that someday I can afford to get my own place. But even living with them, its not always easy to make ends meet. But I manage to do so without going into debt. For me that is the most important part, I dont want to be in debt where I cant afford the payments.

[shadowfox]

Ah well ... my dad helped with my studies at least.

He signed as security for the student loan I had to take in my name

[by which I mean my previous studies - my current course I'm paying out of my own pocket because paying off a student loan is a pain of note]

[DenSweeP]

I really do think you should be self sufficient. But, I also do believe that your parents should pay for any tertiary education you wish to undertake, but also only one degree. They made the decision to have a child and should've started making provision for him/her to be able to go to a good school and on to varisty/college/tech to further their education.

[kerbyross]

In my opinion ,
ages 16 - 18 : study and get good grades , do some odd jobs and save money , dont ask your kids rent ,
their your kids , you made them , their in school and should focus on studies , not on paying rent
19 - 23 : kids should go off to university / college by now , still no rent , they should focus on studies
23 - 30 : the kids really should be flying the coup by now , if not , they should be either working or studying , ok to ask for rent , surely by now you (the parent) is reaching pension age and shouldn't be spoon feeding the kids
30+ : By now , the kids should be out of the house , married , having kids of their own

On this topic , Ive been on my own since ive turned 21 , renting , then paying a bond , sold the house , moved to a different town and now paying off my second house.
Im engaged , getting married next year and turning 30 in June 2012.
I work in the IT sector and all I can tell you guys is the worst paradox for me ,
was not getting a job as I didnt have experience and not being able to get experience as I didn't have a job.
Getting in there , took me working for free for a month to proove myself before someone decided I was worth the money and got the job.

Life is full of sacrifices and in the end , if you really want to do something , theres ways and means to make it work.

[shadowfox]

I really do think you should be self sufficient. But, I also do believe that your parents should pay for any tertiary education you wish to undertake, but also only one degree. They made the decision to have a child and should've started making provision for him/her to be able to go to a good school and on to varisty/college/tech to further their education.

I absolutely agree with you there Den - every parent should make provision for at least the child's first course of study, even if it's only, say, a 50% share - because getting a kid straight out of school into studies and then forcing them to bear a financial debt straight out of tertiary is, in my view, unnecessary - and from personal experience, not awesome to go through - especially if you end up not completing it (I didn't complete my first course, after deciding fairly early on that it didn't suit me).

The worst part is that I had to spend two years paying off that debt before I could even consider studying something else.

I also kinda agree with OmegaFenix on the gap year thing - the kid doesn't necessarily have to go overseas, but at the very least they should get themselves some kind of part-time employment and start working with their own money.

[sycogrim]

In my opinion ,
ages 16 - 18 : study and get good grades , do some odd jobs and save money , dont ask your kids rent ,
their your kids , you made them , their in school and should focus on studies , not on paying rent
19 - 23 : kids should go off to university / college by now , still no rent , they should focus on studies
23 - 30 : the kids really should be flying the coup by now , if not , they should be either working or studying , ok to ask for rent , surely by now you (the parent) is reaching pension age and shouldn't be spoon feeding the kids
30+ : By now , the kids should be out of the house , married , having kids of their own

On this topic , Ive been on my own since ive turned 21 , renting , then paying a bond , sold the house , moved to a different town and now paying off my second house.
Im engaged , getting married next year and turning 30 in June 2012.
I work in the IT sector and all I can tell you guys is the worst paradox for me ,
was not getting a job as I didnt have experience and not being able to get experience as I didn't have a job.
Getting in there , took me working for free for a month to proove myself before someone decided I was worth the money and got the job.

Life is full of sacrifices and in the end , if you really want to do something , theres ways and means to make it work.

I totally agree there. I also had to work for almost nothing but it was still something until I was able to prove myself worthy and ja I now have experience which I still continue to try and expand myself and push to learn more and go further. I'm now an IT Manager and I'm happy but I know I'm going to do more than this .

[Grimspoon]

I like to spend my monies on beer.

[to0kenZA]

This could be a touchy subject, but here's my point of view.

First off ... I live with my parents. Seems a bit silly when you consider my age, but, in all fairness, I pay rent, I help maintain the house, I contribute to groceries. Of course I get such perks as getting my laundry done (most of the time), and getting dinner most nights (which is also the only food I eat in the house - breakfast and lunch are own babies). My internet/phoneline costs I carry on my own (I had a seperate line installed).

I could move out - but I have a few things that stop me. First off, buying a house on my current salary is impossible, and I'm against paying rent for the simple reason that you're basically throwing money down a well - you get absolutely no return on it. And I'll eventually be inheriting my parent's place anyway - part of my rent goes towards paying the bond. Another factor preventing me is the fact that I'm planning to go overseas once I have my degree for a period of one or two years in the next 2 years - once I'm back I'll probably re-evaluate my options.

I realise a lot of guys out there will merely see these as excuses on my part, and others will see it as laziness - that's fair, each to their own. After all, I don't live my life for other people's approval.

Jobs-wise, my first job was delivering newspapers in high-school, also did various waitering stints and about 3 years at Mr Delivery. My current car was bought with money earned while pulling double-shifts as a waiter, 7 days a week.

I think my story is pretty much the same as yours!

When I was a student I also used to do all kinds of work to make a few bucks. Bartendering, doing catering work like doing a spitbraais for anything from 20 - 70 people on my own, delivering pizzas etc.

I have a proper job now, but I still haven't moved out, firstly because as you say, renting is like pissing your money away. My old man had a chat with me the other night about buying another house, where I will then go stay and pay the bond on that house. He wants to keep the money in the family rather than pissing it away into someone else's mortgage. If there's anyone I'd trust with money management, that would be my old man. He's been in HR for 40 years.

I also pay for all my stuff, my car, medical aid, retirement annuities etc etc, groceries and pretty much everything else besides meals at dinnertime. I also offered to pay my folks the money back for all my tertiary studies but my old man refused. I can't say that I'm unhappy about that, though! It's nice to get some perks, but I also do what I can, and when we go overseas as a family I pay almost all of my expenses.

So for me it only makes sense moving out once I've got my own place, paying it off and knowing that it's mine and not some other person's house that I'm throwing my hard earned money at.

Also, something else I wanted to discuss. I know back in the olden days, people used to stay with their parents a lot longer after school and studies. My father stayed with his folks until he was 28, then he got married, stayed there for another 2 years before him and my mom got their own place. I guess it was just part of the fact that they were a middle class family back then, but I don't see how that's a bad thing for families to stick together.

Some Portuguese families stay in large houses, with multiple families living under one roof. Where that might be their culture, it might obviously be non-traditional for, say, a South African family, but that's actually really cool because they keep all their money in the family, looking out for each other and sticking together.

In the end I think it's a matter of background as well as a family relevant thing. I don't think anyone can judge a person on something like this. You don't know their family and you don't know the circumstances in a person's life. You can learn to be self-sufficient, no matter what your current situation is. If I was to be kicked out of home for any reason, whether it be my folks passing away or something in that line, I would obviously be able to sustain myself. I would just really suck at making potjiekos :P


@Kerby: I don't agree with your list. Especially not the part where you say 30+ should be having kids etc. What if people don't want kids? I'd definitely be out of the house by that time, but that's not to say I even want kids at that age, let alone be married by that time. You can't put out a set of rules for any one individual person to follow. We're all unique in the way we plan our life and our priorities. No offence to you at all my good man, with this next statement, but trying to sum up how someone should live their life is nothing but judging, in my opinion at least.

[Raven Gold]

I live with my folks, I earn handsome money and I offer whenever I can but they refuse to accept any cash from me, not for food, luxuries, rent and they get pissed off when I push the matter. I'm not gonna break a good thing.

[DenSweeP]

Also, parents should provide their kids with the basic needs during their varsity days. Basic clothing and food and toiletries. But any other luxuries, fancy shoes and clothing labels and drinking money and kuier money etc, get a job you lazy bastard. And don't tell me there aren't any jobs. There is is always something somewhere. They might not always be glamarous, but money earned is money earned. I never received pocket money in high school and had to go out and deliver newspapers every morning all through high school. And after school I started making plaster of paris christmas ornaments and curtain tie backs etc to make more money. I always said I will never wait on someone, because I knew I would suck at it, so I found alternatives. There are jobs, just maybe not what suits you.