Let's face it... many women don't like gaming. Especially mine. But I have managed to trick her in various ways which has either landed me with another few rounds of COD5 and/or her actually taking a part in Gaming.

#1 The Lie

When your girl is begging you to get off your console, explain to her that quitting a round early could "get you banned" from Xbox Live. Prove it to her by insisting she plays while you go to the toilet or have a cigarette. WARNING: If you play COD, she will suck, and you will wince as you see your deaths begin to rise. Be sure to leave the mike on so you and everyone else on Xbox Live can enjoy her asking about what exactly the fuck is going on.

#2 Moffie Games

Let her choose a game. There are lots of moffie games around these days... Viva Pinata and The Sims come to mind. These are games that either appeal to the fun, family side of her or her innate desire to control the pathetic life of someone else in the case of the Sims. Let her play, preferably on a laptop. Behind you, in front of you, anywhere except on your Xbox. When is she is playing, you can play. And that's everyone happy, no?

#3 The Quest

Choose story intensive games with lots of cut-scenes. Then, if you get her stoned enough you may find that she responds as she would to a good TV program: utterly compelled and wouldn't miss it for the world. Be careful she doesn't get into it too much however, because an argument based on who gets to find Umbra's Gear on the misty plains of Tamriel is just weird. And it's certain that you'll be pretty pi**ed off if she finds it first!

#4 Sweet TV

If you live with your girlfriend, all is not lost. Purport that your latest purchases of a 1080p progressive scan 50" HDTV and a Sony 5.1 Theater Sound System needs to be used for gaming every so often. Add just a smidgen of emotional blackmail and tell her "I buy you this TV, Xbox and sound system, and you never use it!" Then promise to get her more of her own electronic devices. After all, it's not like gaming is a crime.

#5 The Last Resort

The Last Resort is, well, the very last resort. By going this route you will undoubtedly declare your love of Gamingdom. However you will forever bear the title of sneaky, rotten, dirty, filthy, gaming bastard. Leave a slippery substance on the floor, in the hope that she slips and injures herself. You are hoping for a leg injury. While at the doctor, insist that she needs a wheelchair until she is put into one. Then install a step in your gaming room.