Brilliant post!
Wife: You play too much! You never go out anymore
You: You know what honey, you are absolutely right! I couldn't agree with you more! <Put off the PC / Xbox etc, grab the car keys>
Wife: Where are you off to?
You: Going out for a few drinks with the boys, back in a few hours .... thanks for getting me out of that chair hun <kisses and smooches>
Aim for crawling in at around 5am the next morning (DO NOT tiptoe, rather stumble, perhaps break a glass) ... ensure you have that perfect blend of alcohol / tobacco and cheap perfume smell. Hop into bed, mutter I love you, belch, pass gas and pass out.
