After a Break Up

[hugo69er]

Usually works for me. I don't exactly agree with Dan's point 2 and 3, but that's probably just because of my type of personality. I'd rather take some time out from people and sort myself out.

Though my personality wont really let me do 2 and 3 i have to agree that they are probably the 2best methods...

[MalicE]

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

[sycogrim]

One of the things that really baffles me about guys is how, after a painful break up, they'll go out drinking and hooking up with other women instead of talking about it and crying it out. I've found that, generally, men are super spiteful about their exes, and I think it's because they never really deal with it.

Simon, I don't know if you have any close female friends, but if you do, I'd suggest sitting down with them and talking about it honestly. That's a lot more constructive than boozing. Remember, there's absolutely no shame in being hurt and vulnerable right now. What you're feeling is totally normal.

I tried finding salvation at the bottom of a bottle once, then I found myself hiding from the world for a day because of a splitting headache.

I've had a few awful breakups, including one particularly long and painful one. Not sure if it'll help, but here's what I took away from it all:

1. Cut her out of your life completely. Cold turkey. No calls, texts, crying over photo albums, etc. You broke up for a reason, and going back (or even just considering going back) is just going to prolong your pain.

2. The quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Note that this does not necessarily mean casual and potentially risky sex, but even if you just follow the principle and start up a conversation with a girl at a bar, I guarantee you'll feel better.

3. Surround yourself with other people at all times. Being alone in your own head is dangerous. This means going out. A lot. This should also hopefully lead to point number 2.

Hang tough, dude. You always have the forum to vent on.

You sir, deserve a Bells!!

Someone give this man his drink, and keep them coming

[simon]

edited, just because

[Grimspoon]

You will need the following ingredients to fully recover from said breakup.


1 x bottle of brandy (personally I would go for Bolls, but some people prefer Kllipies)
1 x box of tissues
1 x Michael Bolton greatest hits

[Duke Dude]

I went through the same thing 8months ago and it was not easy! Not a day goes by that I don't think about her...

I know it's been said to death by almost everyone on this planet and it doesn't seem true at the time, but time really does heal all wounds. I wallowed in self-pity and alcohol for 4months until it got so bad my family intervened. And then I just started deleting photos of her, removing all memories of her and focused on myself.

But the first step on the road of recovery is to allow yourself to mourn. It's not cool crying, but if you don't then it will eat you dude. Once you've cried you will feel a lot better.

Another thing to remember is that there's nothing wrong with you, a lot of men take it personally thinking something was wrong with them. I'd recommend what Dan said, to an extent though!

I'd go out with mates, go to bars, if you see a hot chick talk to her, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with a make-out session with a stranger ! I wouldn't necessarily have sex with her, but that's just me. I think you'd hate yourself for it after the deed is done.

The best thing now is to focus on yourself, do things you weren't able to and chat to women, you'll see that nothing is wrong with you and you'll be able to move on a bit quicker with time .

My sympathies dude, and best of luck !

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[Grimspoon]

You can also alternate with Phil Collins

Or maybe some Shaina Twain?

[Duke Dude]

I'd just like to add that I wouldn't recommend trying, thinking, hoping to get back with her.

It's futile and will cause nothing but more pain for you. And I honestly believe if she can leave you after 6yrs like that, then there's nothing from stopping her from doing it again. Next time might even be a divorce.

(I couldn't edit my post for some reason :/. Sorry for the double post.)

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[simon]

edited, just because

[Grimspoon]

Can't stomach brandy very well but ya. We were in the car after the breakup and she started to play that, "What if God was one of us" song, wow, I told her, please turn that shit off, Its making me want to kill myself. It got very awkward very quickly after that lol.

Strange that, brandy seems to solve all of my problems in life

I joke. looool, that shit will send you to your grave.