Quote Originally Posted by Wyzak View Post
Sorry to hear that, but it sounds like your father then overstepped the border.
Not at all. I only ever got a smack when I did something that deserved punishment. My point though is that my old man could've easily substituted respect and teaching for a quick klap.

Exhibit A: Growing up, we had a lemon tree in the garden. One day I decided to chuck a lemon at my neighbour's house and it smashed one of the windows. Guess what happened? I got hit as punishment.

Could there have been a more effective solution to the problem? Of course. My dad could've made me go over to apologise in person; I feared the humiliation more than the smack. I then could've been made to pay for the damage, an arguably more significant punishment considering a eight-year old's pocket money. However, that's not the way it went, and I learned nothing valuable from the experience.

For me, if you want to correct behaviour and grow your child into a sensible human being, you can incentivise them using your brain instead of your belt. It's quote close to this scenario put forward in "Freakonomics":

Quote Originally Posted by Freakonomics
Imagine for a moment that you are the manager of a day-care center. You have a clearly stated policy that children are supposed to be picked up by 4 p.m. But very often parents are late. The result: at day's end, you have some anxious children and at least one teacher who must wait around for the parents to arrive. What to do?

A pair of economists who heard of this dilemma - it turned out to be a rather common one - offered a solution: fine the tardy parents. Why, after all, should the day-care center take care of these kids for free?

The economists decided to test their solution by conducting a study of ten day-care centers in Haifa, Israel. The study lasted twenty weeks, but the fine was not introduced immediately. For the first four weeks, the economists simply kept track of the number of parents who came late; there were, on average, eight late pickups per week per day-care center. In the fifth week, the fine was enacted. It was announced that any parent arriving more than ten minutes late would pay $3 per child for each incident. The fee would be added to the parents' monthly bill, which was roughly $380.

After the fine was enacted, the number of late pickups promptly went ... up. Before long there were twenty late pickups per week, more than double the original average. The incentive had plainly backfired.
So why did it backfire? Because it was far easier to pay the measly fine than to deal with the repeated embarrassment of being reminded that they were inattentive parents.

In my opinion, if you're smart about it, you can make the exact same idea work for corporal punishment. And again, I don't have kids yet so this is nothing but a theory, but if and when I do I'll be damned sure to at least try something like this before going full caveman on a small child.