I've actually had this long discussion with my mother about lobola and my issues with paying it (even it's significanceOriginally Posted by czc
). Initially the idea of lobola was not about the money, it was meant to be a symbol of 2 families coming together (this includes each family's ancestry, which is why it used to involve livestock more than anything), and it was never extortion like it is today (the concept feels more like a business transaction today). Anyways, bottomline is I'm not a fan of lobola and what I feel it represents in today's world. This is not to disparage my culture or anything but those are my thoughts on the matter.
The reality is things like paying lobola (not sure I'll win that battle), or getting a fairy-tale wedding along with the accessories to match requires person to either plan way ahead, be of a certain financial standing or get in debt (yes, I've seen and heard of this multiple times). I feel that this idea is in contrast with the concept of love which doesn't wait for these parameters to be met in your life before it hits you.
I feel there are cheaper ways to celebrate a union that can have just as much sentimental value as their lavish counterparts.
I think I've gone on a tangent, but yeah, those are my thoughts.
*Gasp*
My secret is out!!! Damn it
