You swimming in the ocean and get surrounded by sharks. What do you do?
Speak Afrikaans they will think u a rock
You swimming in the ocean and get surrounded by sharks. What do you do?
Speak Afrikaans they will think u a rock
rofl!!!!!!!!!!!!!Originally Posted by morganzola
Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Indian restaurant in New York . Sid asked Al, 'Are there any Jewish people of our faith born and raised in India ?'
Al replied, 'I don't know, let's just ask our waiter.'
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Indian Jews?'
The waiter said, 'I doont be knowing, I ask cooksaheb..' He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said, 'No sir, no Indian Jews.'
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, 'Are you absolutely sure?'
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with 'foreigners' gave the expected answer, 'I check again,' and went back into the kitchen.
While the waiter was away in the kitchen, Sid said, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in India . Our people are scattered everywhere.'
The waiter returned and said, 'Cooksaheb say there is no Indian Jews.'
'Are you certain?' Al asked once again, 'I just can't believe there are no Indian Jews!'
'Madhar Chod ! Listen, I asked EVERYONE,' replied the frustrated waiter. 'All we have is Mango Jews, Pineapple Jews, Orange Jews, Cococnut Jews & Tomato Jews! - No Indian Jews !!! '
A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'
Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)
Dog: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool'
Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'
Ozzie: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Ozzie: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'
Rock and Roll aint noise pollution
HAHAHAHA!!! I guess the Aussie has something to hide?
Ya. And he is hiding it in the sheep. Twice a day.HAHAHAHA!!! I guess the Aussie has something to hide?
A member in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A boy comes home from school at 7pm, His dad says "where were you? "
"I was with Jessica." He replied.
"What were you doing?"
"We were revising."
After picking a snack off the table the son says "These fishcakes are lovely."
Dad replies "Wash your hands son; they're f$%cking donuts."
At a Doctor's surgery one morning a patient arrives complaining of
serious back ache. The doctor examines him and asks him,
"What the hell did you do to your back?
"The patient replies, "You know that I am a bouncer at a local night
club?
Well, yesterday morning I got home to my flat quite early and heard a
noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been sleeping with
my wife as my wife was lying naked in bed and the balcony door was open.
I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down
from the balcony I saw a man running out of the building and he was
dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. That's how I
strained my back.
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor says, "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.
What the hell happened to you? The 2nd patient replies, "You know I have
been unemployed for a while now Doctor? Well yesterday morning was my
first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.
I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and
you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients
did.
The doctor was shocked. Again he asks, "What the hell happened to you?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge ....
Bwahaha nice one caboose!!
Evil meet my Sword. Sword, meet Evil!
Jewish Delima...
Free Pork
