Carlos Parreira and Joel Santana are having a conversation.
Parreira: Joel, stop sitting around and starving in Brazil, there's a place in Africa with plenty of moola and the football association is a bunch of people who will pay you whatever you want and believe whatever you say.
Santana: How much are we talking about?
Parreira: Around R1.5 mil a month....
Santana: You lie....get out of here! I thought Africa was a third world continent?
Parreira: Yep that's what I thought too, but hey, these guys are crazy. And they think they are rich.
Santana: You're getting me excited now, but how will I get my hands on this dough?
Parreira: mmmmm..... How well do you know soccer, cousin? Because, I was thinking you can come take my place as a coach of their national team, I miss home and I've had my share already...
Santana: Er, soccer? I watch it every now and then.
Parreira: Ahhhh, that should do. We can even say you've coached a small local team before...and I'll recommend you, too.
Santana: But we are talking about a national team here, not just any local team!?
Parreira: Don't worry, leave all that to me...
Santana: But don't you have a contract with them already?
Parreira: So what? I can always say my wife is sick and needs my support.
Santana: Fair enough. Oh one last thing.... I just met this woman and I really like her, I just can't leave her.
Parreira: Can she speak English?
Santana: She watches Santa Barbara and she said to me this morning 'happy morning'...
Parreira: Perfect! She can go to SA with you. We'll say she's your interpreter so she can also earn some money from SAFA.
Santana: You're kidding me... will they fall for it?
Parreira: It won't be a problem...
Santana: What if I want to come back home before my contract expires?
Parreira: Don't worry you will not stay there for long, no one ever does. The team loses all the time and the public blames the coach...
Santana: Hahahahaha... let me go do my visa and passport right away.
