
Originally Posted by
to0kenZA
It's kinda hard for me to say this, but I started losing my faith in the Christian God a few months ago. It pretty much began with some of the discussions on this forum..
Why are there so many people that don't believe in God? There must be a reason.. There cannot be only one group of people in the world that is "right" so to speak, regarding a creator. Why would God create us all but not give us all a fair chance? This thought comes from Keeper's one thread that I remember quite clearly. But that's not all. Why would God put us in this life, that is so hectic, with so many choices while he will surely know that we WILL make the wrong choices, but yet will punish us to eternal damnation? What could any person in the world POSSIBLY do wrong to be sentenced to eternal damnation?
So many questions popped in my head, things I've been scared to think about my whole life. Why, according to Christianity, did everything happen like it did? Where did Lucifer come from, why did he do what he did etc? All these things, it doesn't make sense. It just is not fair. Why would people you love, your friends and family, be punished forever while you must just stand back and accept it? No. That is what life is about, love and friendship. Why must you sacrifice your friendship for religion? When I started going deep into Christianity, it was almost like this psychological barrier between myself and my friends. I used to have thought like "Geez, why must they party so hard, I wish they would stop- they're not going to make it to heaven" or whatever. Not cool. I decided that my friends are worth more to me than even having thoughts like that. I don't even want to THINK about my friends that way.
One night I was lying in bed. I prayed and I told God, that If he REALLY cares so much as he says he does, he must show me. Anything. Speak to me. Show me something, even if it's just a feeling, but make it distinct. So I can KNOW it's him. Is that really so much to ask for? If God loved me, is that really so much to ask for? Just a little proof? Excuse my lack of faith, but I'm just human. That's how you made me. Fair, or not? Well guess what happened. Nothing. That was pretty much when I decided I can't do this anymore. Sometimes I still pray. I still get scared that I might be wrong. I'm in a really bad place right now, I reckon.