I hate 3D movies. Like really, really hate them. The only thing I hate more than 3D movies is the fact that I have to pay extra for having my movie experience butchered.
The glasses are heavy, uncomfortable, and make you look like some kind of retro-Cyclops (perhaps their only redeeming feature). I can only bear about five minutes of the plastic arms digging into the side of my head before my eyes start burning and I get a headache. Not to mention the fact that each “3D movie” generally features about 37 seconds of 3D footage. Generally, when I’m forced to watch a 3D movie, I do so without the glasses, giving everything a pleasant iridescence, like watching Nic Cage kick ass through a prism. Despite these obvious (to me) inferiorities, legions upon legions of drones piling into movie cinemas every weekend opt for the “3D experience”. What I just can’t figure out is why.
Remember when 3D glasses = this? At least back then they looked cool.
Like Moths to a Flame
The problem is people, indeed our entire species, are attracted to technology and its advancement. For movies, and now gaming, 3D seems to be the next logical step in the technological ladder. Immersion is the name of the claim, and everyone seems to be using the formula that anything in 3D = better.
3D gaming aside, the very assumption that more advanced is always better needs to be brought into question. I can’t honestly say I have any more fun playing the games of today than I did playing Super Mario Bros. on my Nintendo. I will not, however, argue that we should all still be jamming NES and that advancements in gaming suck – because they don’t, they rule.
What I am saying, however, is that we should be wary to assume that just because something is a technological advancement that it is necessarily better for gaming/more fun. I’m lookin’ at you, 3D.
Addicted to a Concept
It seems that people are more intrigued by the concept of the 3D, than the actual final result. I assume this because I cannot possibly believe that people are even remotely impressed by 3D movies – the effects are average at best, and in most movies they occur so rarely it hardly seems worth including.
The same can be said of 3D games, thus far. Nvidia’s 3D glasses are scarcely used, underwhelming and generally ignored. The Nintendo 3DS, while impressively providing a 3D effect without headgear, requires you to tilt your console at the perfect angle and has already produced many reports of strained eyes. The fact that it provides an on-the-fly slider to turn off 3D graphics gives more credence to the argument that 3D is gimmicky at best.
Despite this, the fascination with 3D perseveres, and many people are hungry for greater advancements in 3D gaming. The current unimpressive showing is attributed to the lack of technology to make it what it could be, rather than the concept itself.
Does this look familiar? Nope, didn’t think so.
No Thanks
What 3D is really about is making your game more like “real life”. Immersion is the contemporary catchphrase for video gaming, and all new technology, be it the Kinect or 3D vision, are all about immersing you deeper in the experience.
Ultimately, I guess we’ll all be standing in a room wearing a giant helmet and flailing our arms about as we fight off giant, 3D-real dragons in Diablo 6. That sounds great at a theme park, but it’s not what I want at home.
You see, I don’t understand the obsession with trying to make ourselves forget we’re playing a game. I like playing games, I like using the tools we have to do so, be it an Xbox controller or a keyboard and mouse. I don’t want to prance around in a helmet and a sensor-suit, holding a replica gun, getting hit in the face by “amazing blood-spatter effect!” (I can see the Fox News headlines already).
The fact is, I like talking on the phone when gaming, talking to friends, listening to music, knowing what’s going on around me. I like to be able to sit down and play for an effortless 20 minutes, or pause and/or alt-tab when I get an instant message or an SMS. I like to feel like I’m playing a game when I’m playing a game, not like I’m actually in the middle of a dungeon surrounded by demons.
In short, I want the way we play games to be enhanced, not completely altered. So take your toys and your gimmicks and your technological what-nots, and stick them up your three-dimensional arse.
Do you think I’m a Neanderthal who should stick to bashing rocks together and laughing hysterically? Leave comments below or have your say in the forums.
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