Are you currently playing Skyrim? Are you aware that it could be causing you sexual perversions and destroying the very fabric of society? Satirical website Christwire sure thinks so.
Don’t be alarmed, because one concerned US citizen will save you, with the help of Barack Obama of course.
B Stephenson of Tennessee, a modern hero, has formed a petition to the US presidency, along with a list of demands, which he has posted on The White House’s We The People website:
We petition the Obama administration to: Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as ‘SkyRim’ for The Safety of America’s Youths.
“Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,
“Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,
“Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,
“We, the American people, today ask you,
1. To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as ‘SkyRim’ produced by Blizzard Entertainment.
2. To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.
3. To prosecute the players of ‘SkyRim’ to the fullest extent of the law.
4. To create a national database of videogame avatars and ‘screen names’ so that teenagers can be better monitored.”
If the petition can muster 25,000 signatures before December 24th it will receive an official response. I suggest you delete your account and burn your copy now, as the petition is steamrolling ahead with a mighty 122 signatures.
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