I don’t often use the word “gobsmacked”, but this story has me totally gobsmacked. It’s gobsmacking. Gobs will literally be smacked, or your money back. Okay, so…
Basically, there’s this guy Dave, and he pre-ordered one of those third-party Avenger PS3 controllers. The controller was originally scheduled to ship out in “early December”, so when it hadn’t arrived by the middle of the month, he emailed the people he’d placed the order with, a company called Ocean Marketing, to ask when he could expect it. What ensued can only be described as a How Not To Do Business primer.
The correspondence between Dave and one Paul Christofo, the guy behind Ocean Marketing’s PR department and an aspiring Dunning-Kruger poster child, was forwarded onto Penny Arcade’s Mike Krahulik, who kindly published the whole lot for the world’s reading, pointing, and laughing pleasure. It’s worth reading in its entirety for maximum delectableness, but here’s an appetiser:
“You just got told bitch … welcome to the real internet check kotaku in 2 weeks when they are reviewing free PS3 Avengers we send them as well as G4 and all the other majors hell yeah , don’t forget to check Amazon, gamestop.com, play n trade , Myers , Frys and a ton of other local stores coming your way you think you speak for billions son your just a kid you speak for yourself no one cares what you think that’s why were growing and moving 20-50 thousand controllers a month. We do value our customers but sometimes we get children like you we just have to put you in the corner with your im stupid hat on. See you at CES , E3 , Pax East ….? Oh wait you have to ask mom and pa dukes your not an industry professional and you have no money on snap you just got told.”
Speaking of Kotaku, though, they contacted the Avenger Controller people for comment at the contact address of marketing director Brandon Leidel. They received a reply, but…
“Strangely, though, the email came from ‘[email protected]’,” writes Kotaku editorial director, Joel Johnson. “A cursory Googling of that email reveals that it’s one of the addresses used by Mr. Christoforo. It’s even listed as a contact address in one of his ‘@oceanstratagy’ tweets from last year.”
A bit more internet detectiving linked the Hotmail address to the alias TheAngryPimp over on – wait for it – Steroid.com, a site for anabolic steroid junkies. Turns out may-or-may-not-be Paul Christoforo is weaning himself off steroids and is probably just roid raging at work. Which is, of course, nobody’s business but totally hilarious.
The article was, however, picked up by the real Brandon Leidel, who confirmed he’d not written the email. In a response to Kotaku, he describes Christoforo as a “street thug masquerading as a self proclaimed ‘Marketing Professional'”, and a “complete fool”, adding that “I personally can’t stand him”.
Most recently, Christoforo has emailed Penny Arcade with a lame apology, saying that he “didn’t know how big your site was and I really didn’t believe you ran Pax , So for what’s its worth I am very sorry”. Which sort of looks like he’s not sorry for how he handled the situation, but rather because he got called out for it.
… Lol. More as it happens, if it happens. In the meantime, here’s a video parody (a bit sweary, so probably NSFW).
“I know the yellow Power Ranger and Richard Nixon, so I think I know what I’m talking about.”
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