Hats are so last week – Team Fortress is all about rings now. Well, one ring, except it doesn’t make you invisible and it’s $100. But, Valentine’s Day!
“If there’s one thing we know more about than hats, it’s probably romanc,” reads the official blurb over on the Team Fortress 2 blog.
“Remember that romantic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up a boom box in the rain? Well, we hold stuff up in the rain all the time. Golf clubs. Our wallets. An umbrella. Whatever’s handy, really. And do the girls go for it? Hard to tell – it rains pretty hard in Seattle, so the limited visibility combined with wind shear makes it tough to see the appreciation on the ladies’ faces.”
Or maybe that boom box just isn’t really what she had in mind. That’s where Valve’s hot new thing comes in.
“Introducing the ‘Something Special For Someone Special’. It’s ring-shaped, it’s gift-wrapped, it’s basically useless, and it’s really expensive ($100!).
“In short, it’s the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine’s Day gift ever made available to the public.”
Of course, it’s not technically Valentine’s Day on this side of the planet anymore, but it’ll do just as well as a birthday or anniversary or I’m-sorry-I-left-the-wet-towel-on-the-floor gift, I’m sure.
Just like a real token of love, the ring cannot be traded, only given to somebody.
“When it shows up in your special someone’s backpack, they can click on it to open a menu that will let them accept your proposal. Once the proposal’s been accepted, a message will be broadcast to the entire TF community that will include your name, your special someone’s name, and whatever you decided to call the ring. Then presto, the gift turns into two matching diamond bands you can wear in the rain while you smooch up a storm, you crazy kids.”
Presumably if the person declines, you get a set of ratty pyjamas, a tub of ice-cream, and a Walkman with a cassette tape featuring 60 minutes of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah on repeat in your backpack. Or maybe not.
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Valve are awesome for giving you the choice to buy useless stuff and not forcing you to buy it.
Free to play done right!