10 Retro Classics You Should Buy from GoG.com

21 May 2010

I’m such a total slut for retro PC games. And now with the advent of uncapped intertrons, you can be one too! MyGaming, meet GOG.com, your one-stop shop for all the things you’ve forgotten you loved. Did I mention it’s all DRM-free? It’s all DRM-free. Go go go. In no particular order then, here’s a bunch of stuff you should be grabbing immediately:

1. Phantasmagoria – R75 – 1.6GB

It’s not that this is an especially good game, perhaps, but it does have the distinction of featuring some of the most inadvertently hilarious FMVs in the history of video gaming. Highlights include some guy shovelling bloody guts into his wife’s mouth with a garden trowel. AAAAAADRIIIIEEEEENNNNE!

2. Psychonauts – R75 – 2.7GB

Okay, okay, I confess. I’ve not played this. But it’s supposed to be really good or something. I’ll get around to it.

3. Beneath a Steel Sky – Free – 71MB

It’s free. It’s also one of the most criminally underrated adventure games of its time, not least of all because it’s cyberpunk. Why – whyyyyyyyy – aren’t there more cyberpunk games? And on that note, please remember to inundate GOG with demands for Westwood’s Blade Runner game.

4. Divine Divinity – R45 – 1.6GB

Another criminally underrated classic, Divine Divinity is a quirky action RPG that plays out something like Diablo, but with a much more complex character system and one of the most bizarre – and stupidly complicated – easter eggs I’ve ever encountered.

5. Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura – R45 – 1GB

Its somewhat objectionable appropriation of Latin to no obvious purpose other than some ill-considered groping at fantasy nerd authenticity notwithstanding, Arcanum is one of the best RPGs you’ve probably never played. Imagine Fallout 1 or 2 in a steampunk setting, and you’re kinda getting there. Besides, with its classless character levelling system, it’s entirely possible to play a replica of The Dark Tower’s Roland the Gunslinger, which automatically makes it totally awesome. 

6. Fallout 1 and 2 – R45 each – 506MB and 580MB

I mean, since we’re sort of on the topic and all. Most of you have probably played Bethesda’s franchise reboot, Fallout 3, but you can’t say you’re into Fallout until you’ve played Black Isle’s original two games. Especially the second one. Wanna shotgun homeless kiddies and be a porn star? WELL, now’s your chance. It’s not that Fallout 3 wasn’t a cool game, of course, but rather that the first two were so much better.

7. Lionheart: Legacy of the Crusader – R45 – 700MB

Now, not many people know this, but Lionheart was another one of those Fallout spin-offs. Kind of. It uses exactly the same S.P.E.C.I.A.L. character system, anyway, which is really enough to make any game worth playing. It does get ridiculously difficult about halfway through, but keep telling yourself it’s all part of its charm or something. 

8. Caesar 3 – R45 – 364MB

This must be one of the most infuriating, unfair, and masochistic management games I’ve ever played. Just when everything’s going wrong, everything can – and almost certainly will – go wrong. Probably because you forgot to worship some stupid god. 

9. Unreal Tournament 2004 ECE – R75 – 2GB

Not quite the original, but definitively the best. And for those of you wondering – and I know you’re out there – CTF-LavaGiant, AKA The Greatest CTF Map In The History of Forever (After CTF-FacingWorlds, Anyway) is available as a custom add-on. 

10. Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus – R75 – 596MB

Improving on the original, Abe’s Oddyssey, in pretty much every way – mostly because it’s now possible to possess Glukkons – Abe’s Exoddus is one of those games that if you’ve not played, you’ve simply no business calling yourself a gamer.

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