The opinions expressed in this column are the writer’s alone, and do not reflect those of MyGaming.
For the most part, I can’t get much bothered by gamer stereotypes. I mean, I have boobs. I’m already pretty much off the list. But there’s one stereotype I really resent, and it’s the casual assumption that, as a gamer, I’ll allow a Japanese RPG* into my home.
Japanese RPGs are like the Dan Brown novels of the gaming industry – they’re immensely popular, and their slavishly adoring fans are absolutely convinced they’re the most significant, intellectually accomplished titles of any generation. But any Japanese RPG, like any Dan Brown novel, is in actual reality nothing much more than a supercilious compilation of repulsive characters; dreary, fatuous dialogue that demonstrates nothing so much as those repulsive characters’ grossly inflated sense of self-importance; tedious exposition; random, irrelevant encounters; and a bunch of convoluted, desperately contrived contingencies masquerading as a plot that relies on players never asking even such subtle questions as “But… why?”.
An ancient evil. An otherwise unlikely company of protagonists brought together by some bewildering destiny. A Mac Guffin. A villain introduced at the start who turns out to be the conspicuously conspicuous understudy of the conspicuously inconspicuous real villain (omg). The possibility of an incipient apocalypse and/or predictable sexual tension. Miscellaneous histrionics. Shamelessly misappropriated and mismatched bits of mythology, mashed together with no regard for their original context or connotations to anyone who actually knows anything about them. Turn-based combat. Every Final Fantasy ever or The Da Vinci Code?
It’s not that the overwhelming majority of Western RPGs are that much better, mind you, but then, nobody’s claiming Western RPGs are beyond all reproach or critical scrutiny. Dare to say a Japanese RPG is rubbish, on the other hand, and in comes the Inquisition. The genre seems to have acquired some sort of magical sacrosanct status, whose denouncers are simply too stupid to comprehend its obvious and inviolable awesomeness or something. Because level grinding, interminable trudging about, and mawkish sensibilities are apparently clever. At least Mass Effect has the decency to give players their own spaceship.
Each to their own, of course, and for my part, I’ve managed – all outward controversy notwithstanding – to maintain a reasonably meaningful relationship with someone who actually owns Shining Force. But let’s stop pretending your favourite JRPG couldn’t be turned instantly and with no substantial alteration whatsoever into the next fifth-rate Tom Hanks box office bomb**, or that Cloud Strife isn’t a ****ing dumb name.
* Or “JRPG”, to those who persist in thinking they deserve a special genre of their own; a sentiment with which I can agree only insofar as preferring to keep them far away from real RPGs.
** On the up side, it might be the first time fans could say it’s a faithful adaptation.
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