In a sort of social experiment that’s equal parts hilarious and tragic, a Redditor has signed up for internet dating as Assassin’s Creed protagonist, Ezio Auditore di Firenze.

It’s hilarious because we get it, and it’s tragic because the women don’t.

“I was a seducer of woman and a playful man,” writes Ezio. “I possessed acrobatic skills far beyond those of my peers, barring my brother. I came from an affluent background and had many friends until the deaths of my father and brothers drove me out of Florence for many years.”

He lists his only interests as “parkour” and “antique weapons”, but I suppose that whole secret order of assassins locked in eternal battle with the secret order of Knights Templar thing is probably better kept for the second or third date.

Not that I think it would matter to some of these women, though.

“WOW I MARRY YOU IF I ONLY CAN YOU LIKE A KNIGHT I WISH TO HAVE IN MY LIFE I am a Pisces with a good personality,” writes JEANETTEANGEL, in a tender missive titled “love,future,desteny”, before asking, “Can I be your wish come true”.

Remember, kids – nothing is true, everything is permitted, especially this.

Source: Reddit