Okay, actually, I’m kind of shocked to hear this – apparently Gearbox’s Aliens: Colonial Marines doesn’t have female characters in multiplayer. I mean, this is the franchise that spawned Ellen Ripley, the original badass sci-fi female character that real women don’t cringe about. And in James Cameron’s definitive Aliens, there are female marines. And in Colonial Marines’ single-player campaign, there are female marines. So… what’s exactly is going on here?
Obviously, this just won’t do. So obviously, there’s a petition to change this, and get those lady marines reinstated. Get on the ready line, marines, get some today! Get on the ready line! Move it out! Move it out, goddammit! Get hot! One, two, three, four! Get out, get out, get out! Move it out, move it out, move it out! Move it out, move it out, move it out! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! Aaahhhh, absolutely badassess! Let’s pack ’em in! Get in there!
“The ALIENS franchise started the first female action hero,” said petition starter, Melissa K. “Women are a big part of the ALIENS universe. The main character, the Queen Alien, the supporting female cast members, and even the United States Colonial Marines has many female marines, roughly close to the same number as men enlisted.”‘
You can do your bit for women in space-combat by signing the petition. And then I say we take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.