Rockstar Games has launched the first viral marketing promo for Grand Theft Auto V with The Epsilon Program, an obvious spoof of the Scientology religion that has been referenced in previous games and apparently features in the next.
The website lists the “12 Tenets of Kifflom”, including such enduring and incontrovertible wisdoms as:
- The world is 157 years old – FACT!
- Sperm does not exist – it is a lie spread by biology teachers – along with everything else you have ever been told – FACT!
- Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm – FACT!
Not much is known about Grand Theft Auto V for the moment except that it’s set in Los Santos, an alternate version of Los Angeles – that’s also the birth place of Scientology inventor L. Ron Hubbard, and the cult’s primary base of operations today, although this one time I totally saw a bunch of them at Kenilworth Centre.
In the meantime, though, we’d probably do well to remember that – as Kifflom teaches us – everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair. I have red hair, but the colour comes out of a box, so I’m not sure if that counts. Clearly I must meditate further upon Kifflom’s lessons.