It’s hard* to imagine what must’ve been going through their minds when the people at J!NX decided to put together and market this Minecraft Creeper plush toy.
I mean, it’s not just that it looks like a… male thingy, it’s also because it hisses when you squeeze it. Now, I’m an unmarried woman so obviously I wouldn’t know anything about that sort of thing, but I’m not quite sure how I’d feel about owning a plush toy that looks like a gentleman’s bits and hisses when I put my hand around it.
Wait. Wait, no I do. I want one so bad. I want, like, ten of them so I can arrange them around the lounge and pretend I’m staring at one of those videos I’ve seen on the internet. I’m talking about Minecraft gameplay videos, of course. What did you think I was talking about?
I’ve got a birthday coming up, and I’m totally asking my boyfriend to get me one of these so I can practise. I mean practise my Minecraft Creeper tactics, of course. What did you think I meant? Jeez.