Oh, they’re funny little things, aren’t they? Sure, everybody pretends they’re entirely inconsequential, while secretly obsessing over their Xbox Gamerscore, Steam Achievement list, and PlayStation Trophies. Because actually, they might count for absolutely nothing in the real world, but out on the wild, tangled frontier of gamespace, they’re everything. Everything. According to recent scientific studies, without your Gamerscore, Achievements, and Trophies, you’re just a dusty, vacant husk.
It’s kind of a pity then, that so many developers just don’t seem to invest this all with the proper gravitas when designing accolades. Gaming site Giant Bomb recently tabulated a list of achievement names, and turned up loads of duplicates.
1. Untouchable – this one turns up in 55 games. It’s not even a particularly good name. “Indomitable” means just about the same thing, and it’s so obviously a way cooler word.
2. Hero – used in 30 games. “Hero”? Seriously? Isn’t that the point of just about every game ever, anyway? It might be okay in a sort of ironic way in a hypothetical game where you rush about murdering babies and eating them or something, but otherwise it’s about as original as shoes.
3. Veteran – used in 28 games. See “Hero”.
4. Survivor – used in 27 games. This actually meant something in Dead Space, because you had to dismember a massive bunch of Necromorphs pretty much all by yourself to get it. Everything else is just so inadequate next to it.
5. Treasure Hunter – used in 19 games. Well, of course you’re a treasure hunter. It’s like calling an achievement “Killed Things” or “Pressed A Key”.
Other commonly recurring names include Collector, Legend, Winning Streak, Sniper, Champion, Team Player, Death From Above, Sharpshooter, Collateral Damage, Pack Rat, Completionist, Exterminator, and Perfectionist.