When news hit the feeds recently that smutty game dev ThriXXX was working on a smutty Kinect game, a countdown to the inevitable Fox News controversy was started. Well, it took a week or two, but the Fox News controversy is finally here.
El Paso, Texas Fox News affiliate KFOX’s champion of journalistic integrity, Martina Valverde has published a wonderfully erudite exposition of the impending porn apocalypse due any moment on Xbox LIVE.
Apparently the Valverde family acquired a Kinect via Santa Claus for five-year old Edwin’s Xbox 360, because “It gets him to be active when we can’t go outside and play.”
Alarmingly, however, news that ThriXXX’s game “has taken the action to a new level” has everybody extremely concerned.
“It’s inappropriate, especially when these games are geared towards younger children,” said Valverde. “You see the commercials on the Disney channel, on Nickelodeon – of course they’re going to want them.”
After scrutinising demo footage of the boob fondling simulator online, Edwin’s granddad, Martin, scientifically concluded that, “If you notice it’s only one hand so I figure the other one is busy,” adding that while setting up the Kinect device, “The first thing that came to my mind was someone is going to come out with interactive porn.”
Presumably, it was Martin’s subsequent Google search for “interactive kinect porn” that turned up the shocking demo.
“Anybody can get on-line with the XBOX360,” worries mom Angelica. “It’s a possibility he could be able to buy it without me actually knowing.”
It’s unclear whether she’s referring to Edwin or Martin.
Martina concludes that, “Now a game they thought was for children will need constant supervision.”
AND NOW: THE FACTS!
– ThriXXX’s game is not for Xbox, it’s for PC. Hooking up Kinect to a PC is beyond the capabilities of most five-year olds, since the most basic requirement would probably be functional literacy.
– Regardless, Microsoft has stated, categorically, that no porn games would ever be published on Xbox LIVE; ever, ever. Hilariously, the article actually notes this – before going on to quote Angelica’s concern that her son would be able to buy it on Xbox LIVE anyway.
– Martina’s conclusion is profoundly disturbing.
Discuss the Fox News report about the ThriXXX Kinect sex game on the MyGaming forum.
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