Gaming trolls at their worst

Trolls are everywhere, and I am not talking about those cute garden statues your grandma has in her garden.

I am talking about Internet trolls, those creatures who get joy from spamming the comments sections, arguing, and hassling gamers in online forums, lobbies, and while playing online.

Trolls need to be eradicated, and fast, before we all end up on the receiving end of their sadistic endeavours.

Behold, the different types of troll breeds. But first, what happens when you trust a troll.

Goodbye to your Destiny character

Before we get into the troll breeds, let us take a look at possibly the worst case of trolling in recent gaming. This is how it went down.

A player handed over control of his game of Destiny to a “friend of a friend” online using the PS4’s Share Play functionality. The player then got up and walked away from his TV.

While the player was away, the online “friend” deleted two of the player’s characters, and then went into last character’s item menu and deleted his only exotic weapon.

For me this was heart-breaking, knowing the time and patience it takes to level up characters and items. This troll just came along and destroyed many months of progress.

Now, onto the troll breeds.

The No-doer

This is probably something all of us have experienced before: that gamer who joins you in an online environment and does not contribute to anything.

I had a case where a player joined me in Destiny for a strike and just waited at the beginning of the area and killed the enemies that respawned. The other player and I then completed the Strike, ultimately giving the no-doer items, marks, and experience for doing nothing.

The same applies in a competitive environment where players would be on your team in Call of Duty, for example, and they go out of their way to die or kill you just to ruin your match.

I have also had a case where I would be invaded while playing co-op in Dying Light, and instead of the player-controlled Volatile chasing us he decided to run from us.

This would have been okay if the Volatile did not swing from building to building at ten times the speed that we could sprint. Needless to say we exited our game and created a new session.

The Verbalist

There comes a time when you will face the monster verbal troll – think trolling level: final boss. This troll has nothing nice to say and will belittle you and your mother at every opportunity.

The verbal troll will often alter their voice to make it a deeper or higher for effect.

This troll loves to sit in the lobbies and start an argument – all it wants is you to swear at it because it feeds on your anger.

Fanboy Trolls

These trolls live in the forums and are bred by Disqus. I am talking about the fanboy trolls, and there are a few of them:

PC Master Race Troll: This troll will make sure that the first thing it publishes on the comments will be that stupid yellow picture with the guy and the long hair.
Nintendo Troll: This troll still lives in the 80s when Nintendo was relevant. He believes that the Wii U is the greatest console in the world and he will make sure you know that Nintendo was the grandfather of gaming.
Console Troll: The Console Troll will take over your comments, making sure that you know you cannot play any console exclusives unless you own a console.
World of Warcraft Troll: These trolls will go on about their awesome game and how far they are, they will bash you silly if you get one detail of the game wrong and will make sure they talk you out of playing the game if you are a noob.
Know it all Troll: The worst kind, the troll that knows everything and will make sure you know nothing. Be it a sport, movie, video game, TV show, or something else, this troll will know everything about the subject at hand.