5 Kickstarter game projects doomed to fail

Everybody and their great-granny’s ex-boyfriend’s former business colleague’s dead cat has a Kickstarter campaign these days, it seems, and it’s starting to show. Universal law prescribes that for every good idea, there are approximately 8.26 billion bad ideas. Here are some of the worst:

Combiform

According to the marketing blurb, the Combiform is a “set of four game controllers that physically snap together via magnets, encouraging inter-personal play”. Because what every gamer really wants to do is constantly attach, detach, and then reattach their controller to somebody else’s while simultaneously trying to play a game together and not fail, like, instantly.

[Combiform]

WASDIO

I’m sure most PC gamers will agree that keyboard and mouse control is pretty much where it’s at for PC gaming, but the people behind the WASDIO want you to replace that keyboard and mouse with a controller. Wait, before you jerk that knee, it’s not a controller-controller, it’s a controller featuring a a bunch of keys glued to a plastic jet thruster control. WASDIO creator Matterdaddy thinks this is the “next generation”, but I’m quite sure it’s just a joystick.

It’ll change your life with carpal tunnel syndrome.

[WASDIO]

Project Venture

Proving once again that being a game fan isn’t necessarily adequate qualification to be a game developer, it’s Evan James Wright’s Project Venture (“title not final”). The game is described as a “single player pseudo 3D free roam adventure game”, so you know upfront it’s a disorganised mess. It also looks like he’s copy-pasted his in-game assets from something released in the late 80s.

[Project Venture]

INSTAFLORIST

Have you ever wanted to create custom floral arrangements on your smartphone? Me neither.

Everybody except those two guys.

[INSTAFLORIST]

The Nordic Beasts

This might be my most favourite thing on Kickstarter ever, for all the wrong reasons.

We invite you to join us in a parallel world filled with mystery and legends. One of which legends welcomes you at this time, to take the journey. Into snow covered mountains where corruption and rivalry are at their storm covered peaks.

The game’s feature list touts ambitious stuff like “a world of complexities and realistic behaviors”, and “an entirely new class of entertainment” that will “set a standard for all of our heroes”. It also looks like this: