Most badass unicorns in gaming

In the animal kingdom, unicorns are far superior to Easter bunnies. Although they have a reputation for being timid, harmless creatures, in gaming reality, they’re devious, violent and down-right badass.

Don’t believe us? Well these 5 gaming unicorns are here to show you how wrong you are.

King’s Quest IV – Unicorn

King’s Quest’s unicorns are shy and bashful beasts, magical in both fact and appearance. According to the game’s lore, “only a pure virgin maiden may touch or ride the fabulous beast, and that none can ever tame it.” (That’s what she said…)

That is, until main protagonist Rosella is given the task of bringing a unicorn to a wicked witch – which she does by shooting it with one of Cupid’s arrows of love, and then placing a gold bridle about its neck. Actually not that difficult really.

After a bit of adventuring, Rosella defeats the witch and releases the unicorn to once again frolick gaily in the fields.

Little does Rosella know, she just got played!

Unicorn plays all coy and hard-to-get and ends up getting a virgin maiden to bring him gold? Ain’t nobody got game like that.

Sure he got snared up a bit in the process, but he managed to get out in the end – off to trick another virgin maiden to climb up on that.

Badass level: 3

Most badass feature: Commitment issues.

“Hey baby, don’t mind me I’m just…frolicking.”

Peggle – Bjorn

Bjorn the unicorn (yes, that’s his name) is the leader of the Peggle institute and is the first character you come across in Peggle’s adventure mode.

According to his profile, he’s “noble” and he’s a “great leader”, and a “great friend”.

While at first glance it may seem like Bjorn is the least badass unicorn alive – his profile also states that he will “stop at nothing to win a Peggle match”.

By extension, that means he is not above murder, arson and human trafficking if it means he can win at Peggle. It’s implied.

His magic power in the game is Super Guide, which shows which way the ball will bounce – and presumably makes sniping a lot easier.

Badass level: 5

Most badass feature: (Implied) Money laundering.

“I will also eat your children alive if I lose.”

Final Fantasy X – Ixion

While Final Fantasy X’s electrified equine summon creature may not look like a conventional unicorn of lore – that protruding element from his multi-braided mane says otherwise.

In the game, Ixion’s special move is Aerospark, where he fires two discs that collide with a single enemy, causing non-elemental damage.

Ixion’s Overdrive is Thor’s Hammer, where he charges electrical energy on the tip of his horn and shoots it toward enemies, lifting them into the air. Then he sends another blast of electricity causing explosive lightning damage.

To summarise: unicorn can blow you up with electricity from his horn.

Badass level: 7

Most badass feature: Deadlier than your monthly Eskom bill, and features the most impressive curved horn in gaming.

Marvel at the majestic curve.

Skyrim – Unicorn

200 years on from the Oblivion crisis, one mad conjurer somehow managed to resurrect this creature in Skyrim. Through a mod.

According to the mod’s creator, Holugar, the unicorn is non-hostile, cautious creature. Despite looking like a horse, it behaves differently.

It only fights in self defence and never assists the player against his foes in combat like normal player horses do. Because unicorns don’t give a crap about your problems.

The unicorn has damage reflection abilities, no weaknesses, and can’t be killed. If that’s not badass enough, dragons won’t fight it – they just simply ignore it (because they’re actually really terrified of the unicorn’s cold, dead eyes and ghostly shine).

Badass level: 9

Most badass feature: Invulnerability; Speed; Unlimited stamina; Double damage attacks; No saddle (because screw your nuts). Take your pick.

Don’t stare into it’s cold, dead eyes. LOOK AWAY!

Robot unicorn – Robot Unicorn Attack

Robot Unicorn just doesn’t give a crap. He’s shiny, robotic and poops rainbows as he rushes towards whatever obstacle is in his way.

And he does all this with the Erasure’s “Always” playing in the background.

He can double jump, star rush and run further and longer than any unicorn out there – and he saves pixies along the way.

He’s popular, too; he has millions of fans and is best friends with fellow rainbow-pooper, Nyancat, and has his own game all to himself.

He’s basically cooler and more badass than anything that’s ever existed, and you all wish you were him. Fact.

Badass level: 10

Most badass feature: Rainbow poop.

“Always I wanna be with yoooouuu, and make believe with yoooouuu “

Honourable mention

If you look carefully at the Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain announce trailer, you will notice a flaming unicorn terrifying Big Boss. Could this be the next level of absurd for the series?