As usual, the opinions expressed in this column are the author’s alone, and do not reflect those of MyGaming
1. Anything appended with a number
What you think it says about you: Conceived in the steaming guts of some long forgotten frag, you’re descended from a long and distinguished line of ancestors, with a long and distinguished reputation for consummate hardcoreness. Nobody mucks about with The Family.
What everyone else thinks: Originality isn’t your strongest characteristic. And apparently neither is resourcefulness, ingenuity, or contingency planning.
2. Any variation of “sniper”, “hitman”, or “dark lord”
What you think it says about you: Well, the name totally says it all. You know your business with agencies of death and humiliation, and/or you’ve got Hell on speed dial. Your classy, intimidating demeanour barely hints at the blood-dimmed tide that steeps and smoulders beneath like the stuff that comes off a raw steak.
What everyone else thinks: Since all three of these are invariably appended with numbers, all of the previous conclusions apply. Also, you probably own a cheap, ill-fitting leather jacket that you think makes you look like Neo from the Matrix. It doesn’t.
3. Anything with numbers substituted for letters
What you think it says about you: Letters? Bah, the stuff of slaves to vain convention. You buck that trend like an unbroken Mongol steppe stallion. You’re all about crypto and dissident obfuscation, and nobody will mess with you because you’re obviously a hacker and you’ll whois the hell out of their IP and NetBIOS packets of doom onto their PC if they do.
What everyone else thinks: Actually, #1 applies again. “H1tm4n” is just “hitman” with numbers. Oh hey, and 1997 called – they want their stupid subculture back.
4. The name of any video game character
What you think it says about you: No, really. You’re Master Chief / Solid Snake / Tails. Mortals tremble before your indisputable credibility and inimitable awesomeness.
What everyone else thinks: Another hit for #1.
5. Anything in Latin
What you think it says about you: You’re a renegade intellectual, a gentleman villain, the sort of guy who plays games as a self-deprecating, ironic deconstruction of sub-super-pre-postmodern existential relevance. You read Lucretius on the toilet.
What everyone else thinks: You’ve got a nominative where you should be using a genitive. The rubbish black metal album you stole the name from didn’t get it right either. Temporibus antiquis, excordes illitterati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem, lolo.
Discuss in-game aliases in the forums
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