Used and abused game characters

Some gaming characters have it easy: they don’t have to worry about death, being impaled or squashed, and they are showered with adulation when they succeed.

Others don’t have it so lucky: they receive no human rights, get abused constantly, and dare not even think about complaining.

These characters deserve a break. Be nice to them the next time they are around.

Pain – all characters

Flinging the characters around in the PS3 exclusive Pain was rewarding and really fun – but how did they feel when they were thrown through a pane of glass, tossed in front of an oncoming train, or pushed into an old woman with a zimmer frame?

Not very happy, I think. The characters of Pain had it bad, receiving more abuse than a rag doll owned by a bratty 5-year-old.

Lara Croft

Damn Lara, you take a beating more often than the Cheetahs do in Super Rugby.

Her latest adventure was not what you would call fortunate, and through the years she has seen more spike traps, angry evil geniuses, and hungry piranhas than any of us could handle.

With everything that Lara as gone through, it is incredible that she not only survived, but required nothing more than a few tetanus shots to recover from her adventures. And she does it all while looking super fine.

Dark Souls – your character

As much as we try to make our Dark Souls character stronger, load more equipment on him, increase his strength, poise, magic, dexterity and defence, it is never enough.

We think we’re all ready to face a boss, or even the smallest foe, but we die over and over again. The Dark Souls life is like living in a communist country – times are tough and you are forbidden from complaining.

Grand Theft Auto – civilians

Los Santos, Liberty City, and Vice City are picturesque places, a perfect spot to take a relaxed stroll. That is, until you arrive in town.

GTA players take pleasure in running civilians over, shooting them while practising their drive-by skills, and beating them with a bat until they hand over their hard-earned cash.

Don’t feel too bad, though, they never really die and are eventually picked up by an ambulance. Unless you decide to attack the paramedics… wait, add the paramedics to the list. Yeesh.

Kratos

Kratos is a sad soul. Every time he finally regains his powers, and his dignity, he is stripped of it all at the start of the the next game.

Then there is the physical and psychological torture that he deals with on a day-to-day basis, and the fact that he is living with the guilt of killing his family.

His wounds will never heal, and the only choice he has to escape the pain of this world is to kill himself. Oh, wait, he tried that already.