I usually like to start off my reviews with a synopsis of the game’s story, since it establishes context and, if I’m clever, it can count for anything up to 200 or so of my required word quota (complicated journalist stuff). But I’ve not much idea what Just Cause 2 is actually about. Why’s that? WELL, that brings me around rather conveniently to the first thing I hate about it.
Just Cause 2 is one of those sandbox games that everybody seems to be making these days because gamers with no standards think 80+ hours of game = good. I’m also starting to hate these sandbox games, but I’ll get to that in a moment. For now, though, the first problem with Just Cause 2 is that it forces you to play in the sandbox to get any further in the story. I mean, “story”. It all kicks off with the protagonist chucking himself out of a helicopter over some made up Indian, East Asian, Pacific, or possibly Caribbean island. The accents are kinda vague. Then it’s off to find some guy or something. But before you can actually get that story (“story”) mission, you first have to accrue a sort of story (“story”) currency, called Chaos. Oh, there’s some equivocal allusion to inciting public outrage against a fascist regime, but why that’s going to, you know, make the story (“story”) happen remains entirely inscrutable.
Point is, by the time you’ve blown up enough water towers, gas tanks, and electricity generators (funny, you’d think the oppressed people would still want to hang onto stuff like basic amenities and services, at least) to unlock the next bit of the story (“story”), you’ve forgotten what happened in the last bit. Mostly because it was so rubbish and instantly forgettable. Oh yeah, and this is where I should mention that, for all intents and purposes, the story (“story”) missions are pretty much exactly the same thing as all the sandbox missions, except they’re a different colour on the objectives map.
So, the sandbox. It’s huge. It’s too huge. It’s really just this enormous land mass, with about a thousand subtle rearrangements of the same props dropped on it. Subtle enough that you’re really just going from one place to… the same place. But in a different place. The mind, it boggles. Maybe the developers figured that, if all the missions are exactly the same, all the places should be exactly the same too. But they probably didn’t. Sure, you’ll get your 80 hours of gameplay out of Just Cause 2, but it’s really just one hour played over and over, eighty times. And most of that is just driving from one place to the next.
Then there’s the cast of characters. They’re all horrible, and the voice acting is atrocious. And the subtitles are full of spelling and grammar errors. And if I ever hear the line “Thanks for flying Air Shelden, hehe!” again, I’m throwing hand grenades at babies.
It took me five hours to actually start having anything even remotely resembling fun in Just Cause 2, and that’s a big red flag right there. I mean, I’m easily entertained. I once watched someone re-enact scenes from Bram Stoker’s Dracula using only their hands, but pretending those hands were pigs, for almost an entire night. And even when I started having fun in Just Cause 2, it was a fragile, ambiguous sort of fun that broke every time I realised I’d done whatever I was doing, like, four minutes ago already. And about four minutes before that too. So every four minutes or so. The only reason I’m still playing this game is because I’ve not yet managed to get the base jumping achievement. Stupid base jumping achievement.
But hey, Dan liked it. So everyone who’s going to slag me off for hating on your MOST FAVOURITE GAME EVER!!!111 should remember to remind him that he’s a much better writer than me. Go Dan!
Tarryn’s score: 60/100
Second Opinion: Dan Parmenter
The first time I played Just Cause 2 was when I recently demonstrated what I’d heard was nothing more than a fantastic 1000-square-kilometre visual experience to a group of mostly non-gamer friends. What transpired though was a remarkable number of hours of fun and hilarity where my Dualshock 3 was passed around enthusiastically between onlookers, each attempting a stunt even more ridiculous and OTT than the last.
I think I’ve inadvertently created the most unbiased reviewing method ever.
I must admit though that Just Cause 2’s story is tripe, its voice acting is abysmal, and its missions are often annoyingly repetitive, but this is a proper sandbox title than knows very well that’s it’s a lot more sand than box. Take a massive array of vehicles, weapons and potential for chaos, and add an incredible longevity factor (we’re talking 11 hours of gameplay time thus far and only 14% total completion), and you’ve got some serious bang for buck.
If you’re looking for a brash, boundless action gaming experience, or if you’re writing a screenplay for the next Jason Statham movie, Just Cause 2 should most definitely be in your collection.
Dan’s score: 80/100
Ed’s note
After playing Just Cause 2 myself, and reading Tarryn and Dan’s impressions of it, it is pretty clear to me that most players are going to either really love the game for its over the top ridiculousness, or hate it for its lack of depth.
It is definitely worth giving the demo a spin before diving in head first on this one.
Reviewed on Xbox 360, second opinion on PS3.
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