The thing about Puzzle Quest, see, is that it should be complete rubbish. It’s an insipid, thoroughly bland and unremittingly vapid RPG-lite glued on top of a simplistic Puzzle Bobble-style match-three formula that can pretty much be played by a person in a coma. It’s a tin-plated monument to mediocrity, and an egregious waste of time. If Counter-Strike was a puzzle game, this would be it. Except probably not, actually. A Counter-Strike puzzle game really would be complete rubbish, but Puzzle Quest totally isn’t. COUNTER-TERRORISTS LOSE.
The point is, Puzzle Quest is one of those things that chucks flat beer in the face of overwhelming odds, and manages somehow to be loads more than the sum of its otherwise entirely inadequate parts. Like a bullied nerd walking into a school cafeteria with a particle cannon. More specifically, however, it’s simply impossible to stop playing. I’m typing this review with one hand*.
Anyway, Puzzle Quest 2 is really just more of the same, with a few significant changes here and there. Here’s the big idea – you’re this guy/girl on a quest. The actual quest is largely irrelevant (mostly because the writing is abominable), and isn’t much more than a bunch of stupid something to fill the gaps you have to slog through between battles with some sort of “meaningful” pretext. Because apparently an alternate reality where engaging enemies means matching pretty gems on a magic grid needs explaining. Which doesn’t explain why most of the story is actually about goblins or something instead. I digress.
Where Puzzle Quest did all this in-between plot business with an overworld map, the sequel zooms into an isometric page crawler view that’s not altogether unlike, say, Dink Smallwood. I’m not completely convinced this change is for the better, though, because it doesn’t seem to do much more than drag out the time and space between the puzzle bits, and make it harder to keep track of what’s going on where. Similarly, completing tasks means waiting through a sequence of conclusion stuff that also means waiting before you can move on and do something else. It’s a minor detail, perhaps, but it quickly becomes exceedingly annoying. I’m a hero, I have things to get busy doing.
Back to the magic grid then, and here’s where Puzzle Quest 2 is most obviously New! and Improved!. In addition to the regular gems, there’s now also an “Action Point” icon, and matching these accrues – yes! – Action Points. These can be cashed in at any time for a weapon or shield manoeuvre in place of a spell or class attack. Now, I get the weapon thing, but the shield move – which basically negates a certain amount of incoming damage – not so much. That’s because enemies use these all too frequently also, and the shield deployment just makes battles last longer. Too much longer. Apparently Puzzle Quest 2’s main mission objective was to delay everything.
I can’t decide yet whether or not Puzzle Quest 2 is an improvement over its predecessor**. It’s a slower game, and frustratingly so at times, but it’s still madly addictive. If, like me, you’ve played Puzzle Quest to death, undeath, and beyond, then the sequel’s a no-brainer no-brainer. If you’ve not played Puzzle Quest, you might want to hit that first.
* Well, I’m not. But I could be.
** I prefer to pretend Puzzle Quest: Galactrix never happened***.
*** Seriously, **** Puzzle Quest: Galactrix.
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