{"id":43756,"date":"2012-08-28T13:57:55","date_gmt":"2012-08-28T11:57:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/?p=43756"},"modified":"2012-08-28T14:18:23","modified_gmt":"2012-08-28T12:18:23","slug":"15-games-that-aged-horribly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/features\/43756-15-games-that-aged-horribly","title":{"rendered":"15 games that aged horribly"},"content":{"rendered":"

Remember when Unreal was just, like, totally the most unreal<\/em> thing you’d ever seen, ever? That was almost fifteen years ago, and graphics technology has improved somewhat since then.<\/p>\n

The thing about nostalgia is that it puts one of those romantic soft focus filters on your memory, to help you deal with the horror. What horror? This<\/em> horror.<\/p>\n

Alone in the Dark<\/strong> (1992)<\/p>\n

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What’s scarier than a haunted house full of monsters? Everything about this screenshot.<\/p><\/div>\n

DOOM<\/strong> (1993)<\/p>\n

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I’m just going to say what we’re all thinking – that looks like poo with teeth.<\/p><\/div>\n

7th Guest<\/strong> (1993)<\/p>\n

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I don’t remember who the seventh guest turned out to be in the end, but it definitely wasn’t hi-res textures or anti-aliasing.<\/p><\/div>\n

System Shock<\/strong> (1994)<\/p>\n

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Shodan has nothing on this low polygon catastrophe.<\/p><\/div>\n

[Edit – As one reader has pointed out, this isn’t even System Shock, it’s System Shock 2. Five years after the first game, and they still couldn’t put a face onto head properly.]<\/em><\/p>\n

The Elder Scrolls: Arena<\/strong> (1994)<\/p>\n

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Not quite as pretty as Skyrim.<\/p><\/div>\n

Descent<\/strong> (1995)<\/p>\n

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… Okay, so it does look rather a lot like Minecraft, doesn’t it? Maybe Descent was ahead of its time.<\/p><\/div>\n

Phantasmagoria<\/strong> (1995)<\/p>\n

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Games featuring full motion video were a big thing for about two and a half minutes. This is why.<\/p><\/div>\n

Hexen<\/strong> (1995)<\/p>\n

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Terrifying for all the wrong reasons.<\/p><\/div>\n

Duke Nukem 3D<\/strong> (1996)<\/p>\n

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Hail to the king… of what, exactly? This game didn’t even have proper mouse-look.<\/p><\/div>\n

Quake<\/strong> (1996)<\/p>\n

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Gears of War might have popularised the “drab brown shooter” genre, but Quake started it.<\/p><\/div>\n

GoldenEye 007<\/strong> (1997)<\/p>\n

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To be completely fair, I’ve seen amateur 3D art just this week that looks about the same. If that describes you, try harder.<\/p><\/div>\n

Turok – Dinosaur Hunter<\/strong> (1997)<\/p>\n

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Not even dinosaurs could save this game from that nauseating cliff texture in the background. And that’s not even a dinosaur. What is that? A crocodile? Technically, crocodiles are dinosaurs, but not dinosaur<\/em> dinosaurs. That’s not a proper crocodile, anyway.<\/p><\/div>\n

Unreal<\/strong> (1998)<\/p>\n

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LOL.<\/p><\/div>\n

Half-Life<\/strong> (1998)<\/p>\n

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Oh, I went<\/em> there. And then I fled in tears.<\/p><\/div>\n

Outcast<\/strong> (1999)<\/p>\n

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It’s like the sky vomited all over everything, everywhere. Maybe that’s<\/em> why the protagonist was an outcast. “Cutter Slade, you smell gross!”<\/p><\/div>\n

BONUS HAEMORRHAGE!<\/em> Deus Ex<\/strong> (2000)<\/p>\n

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I got this game bundled with a new graphics card for Christmas that year. The graphics card has probably aged with more grace.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Looking back without the rose-tinted lenses<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":159,"featured_media":43819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_sma_x_autopost_status":"idle","_sma_x_autopost_error":"","_sma_x_post_id":"","_sma_x_attempts":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[5100,6417,6489,2760,883,6492,6488,1536,1834,21,6491,6495,6490,3274,6487,6493,6494],"class_list":["post-43756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","tag-7th-guest","tag-alone-in-the-dark","tag-descent","tag-deus-ex","tag-doom","tag-duke-nukem-3d","tag-elder-scrolls-arena","tag-goldeneye-007","tag-half-life","tag-headline","tag-hexen","tag-outcast","tag-phantasmagoria","tag-quake","tag-system-shock","tag-turok-dinosaur-hunter","tag-unreal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/159"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43756"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43756\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43824,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43756\/revisions\/43824"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}