![\"Glados](\"http:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Glados-potato.gif\")
<\/a><\/p>\nThat alone makes potatoes a way better option than these characters.<\/p>\n
Any Pok\u00e9mon<\/h3>\n
For a franchise that’s turned a pile of garbage into a creature for battle, I’m actually surprised that there isn’t already a potato Pokemon.<\/p>\n
The obvious choice for a Pokemon potato replacement would be Diglett.<\/p>\n
The reasons? Well, it kind of already looks like a potato; it’s in the ground like a potato; but more than anything it’s so that I don’t have to see this every time I think of it<\/a>.<\/p>\n So let’s go with that.<\/p>\n Spudlett<\/p><\/div>\n Let’s face it, Sonic doesn’t even look like a hedgehog anyway. He’s a speedy, spiky, blue thing\u00a0with one eye and two pupils<\/a>.<\/p>\n Every time he opens his mouth outside of 1994 a million Sega fans die, and then he winds up grossing out the kids by hooking up with a human princess.<\/p>\n You know what isn’t gross, though? A princess smacking lips with a potato. In fact that’s delicious. I want to smack lips with a potato.<\/p>\n Add the fact that potatoes are rounder (thus faster) and don’t speak at all (thus preventing death) and we have a winner.<\/p>\n Fast food<\/p><\/div>\n Truth be told we don’t really know if Master\u00a0Chief is not<\/em>\u00a0a potato. I mean, he could be.<\/p>\n We haven’t seen his face (officially anyway), and the sleuths that managed to capture what could be his face…well…<\/p>\n Let’s just say that if that’s what he looks like, he’s definitely more potato than human. Microsoft should just admit that Master Chief is<\/em> a potato and put the rumours to rest.<\/p>\n Person? Or Potato? It makes no difference.<\/p><\/div>\n Maybe there was a time when Kratos could have been described as an engaging character.<\/p>\n That time was when we didn’t know any better, and were all probably huffing petrol through a tattered t-shirts on a street corner.<\/p>\n Kratos is just a shouty rage man with lots of slashy weapons and a generally violent disposition towards everything.<\/p>\n Slap some angry eyebrows on a potato, and you’ve basically got the same character.<\/p>\n Spud of War<\/p><\/div>\n Controversial? Tell me, have you ever seen Mr Freeman? Have you ever *heard* him? The answer is no. No you have not.<\/p>\n For all we know Gordon is a floating torso with a massive video camera wedged into his chest and Valve just got Hugh Laurie in to do a couple of snaps for the game posters.<\/p>\n Just replace in-game Gordon\u00a0with a potato – all the characters in Half-Life are probably already insane, because they’re clearly just talking to themselves the whole time anyway.<\/p>\n<\/a>Sonic<\/h3>\n
<\/a>Master Chief<\/h3>\n
<\/a>Kratos<\/h3>\n
<\/a>Gordon Freeman<\/h3>\n