Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cHis beard grows. In real time.<\/p>\n
BEARD. GROWS.<\/p>\n
Oh, and there’s a vast, beautiful, open world to explore, stuffed with interesting sidequests and amazing graphics, but who cares about that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“It’s like Skyrim with guns, without guns.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Got led around by a dead fetus and played Gwent 10\/10”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Good news:
\nI’m cured from my addiction to Skyrim!<\/p>\n
Bad news:
\n… well…<\/p>\n
11\/10 buy it, it has bewbs! \ud83d\ude00
\n(and a pretty good story)”<\/em><\/p>\nPositive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Amazing writing.
\nI put 60+ hours in DA3. Don’t even remember my character’s name.
\nA few hours in Witcher… And I still remember that the fortune teller needs some dragon herbs to see my future.
\nA fetch quest that matters.
\n11\/10”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“I’m selling my family for 10 orens, because I really want to buy that sword.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Cut a man’s head off so hard his body flew away. 10\/10”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Quen simulator 2015”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“This game gave me mange, but I’d recommend it anyways.<\/p>\n
(To those who got it… I appreciate you.)”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“BUY IT KILL IT! ROAM IT! \u2665\u2665\u2665 IT! SWIM IT! LUV IT!”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Right now, for almost every player, “The Wild Hunt” means “The Search for Boobies”
\nJust buy it.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“get home from work at 8 pm
\neat with my girlfriend and watch 1 tv show
\nstart playing The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt around 10pm
\nstay up until her alarm goes off for work at 4 am
\ntry to sneak into bed and fail at stealth
\nget 3 hours of sleep
\n…
\nrepeat”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“can wield a fire poker, and get killed by bees. NO NOT THE BEES!”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“My horse kicked me in the face.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Punched 3 wolves to death. 10\/10 would punch wolves again.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Best Gwent Simulator out there so far<\/p>\n
– how has nobody thought of that.
\nTheres also a mini game inside called “Witcher”.<\/p>\n
Gwent 60fps all the way,
\n“Witcher” gives very stable 25-30 fps on a Phenom II 945, 8 gig ram and a HD 5870 1G.<\/p>\n
Had no freezes\/crashes\/gamebreakers in 15+hrs.
\nI r8 8\/8 m8.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Doing the story, had dialogue with a flashback. By the time the guy was done talking Geralt had grown a beard.<\/p>\n
11\/10 — Would play Beard Growing Simulator 2015 again.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“New found appreciation for pagan goat-women music. 666\/10”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“This game is rad. Ran into some bandits, got my \u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665 handed to me. Came back later and murdered every last one of them by cutting them in half from armpit to waist.<\/p>\n
11\/10 would murder again.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Stab, pillage, plough, and burn. Not necessarily in that order.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“-riding on my horse
\n-pack of wolves start chasing me
\n-runs through small village to lose them
\n-wolves start attacking villagers
\n-damn
\n-have to save villagers
\n-kills wolves, saves village
\n-checks if kid who got attacked is ok
\n-kid tells me to \u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665 off<\/p>\n
11\/10”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Tutorial area took me 8 hours to complete.<\/p>\n
I regret nothing.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Rockstar told me i couldn’t ride a horse on PC. Well, look at me now.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“I forgot about the other 440 games I have on Steam.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“In a world where Triple A titles yield horrifying disappointment, In a world where EA pays IGN and EVIL developers take your money and give you 1 hour of content. In a world where gaming industries suck the very life-force out of the player, one game stands out!<\/p>\n
Its not Battlefield Soft****
\nNor is it Assassin’s Creed 69, dawn of the Robots
\nIt’s definitly not Sim City Tiny city edition, and its not Call of Duty Black Ghostbusters Warfare<\/p>\n
Welcome to the Witcher 3.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Got killed in the very first battle against Ghouls.<\/p>\n
By a horse’s kick.<\/p>\n
11\/10.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“For 10+ years I was addicted to WoW, this game cured me,..”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“I’ve already had more sex in this than I have in real life.”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“Gardening Simulator 2015
\n10\/10 would harvest again.<\/p>\n
Pros:
\n-Realistic wind sounds
\n-Blowy trees
\n-World ripe with countless plant variations<\/p>\n
Cons:
\n-Facing your harvestables takes practice”<\/p>\n
Positive Review<\/strong><\/p>\n“-Riding horse around a cliff area
\n-See bandits
\n-Bandits see me
\n-Horse starts freaking out
\n-Horse throws me off backwards and runs tf off
\n-I’m thrown off the cliff by my own horse
\n-Long drop
\n-Dies.
\n-Hadn’t saved the game for 45 mins<\/p>\n
10\/10”<\/p>\n
Suffice it to say, few who had anything negative to say were very funny \u2013 probably because they were betting on this game to be their GOTY.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re grumpy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What did Steam’s often hilariously opinionated users think of The Witcher 3?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":221,"featured_media":75840,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[2122,4567,1969,15397,14014,8657],"class_list":["post-75838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","tag-cd-projekt-red","tag-funny","tag-news-2","tag-pc","tag-steam-user-reviews","tag-the-witcher-3-wild-hunt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/221"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75838"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75838\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/75840"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygaming.co.za\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}