What Izzit!?
- Thread starter Juice
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Juice
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foozball3000
New member
Image 59
This is the 1st version of a Chastity Belt.
Crusading Medieval knights believed that if their faithful wives just had a shield of sorts to protect against a man's advances, things would be fine. After the big flood of newborn babies of 1432, the Crusading Knights all came to the hard conclusion that while they're away for months at end, their "faithful" wives just aren't as willing to manually use the copper protection plate as they would have hoped for.
This version was then redesigned to the version we all know. This version would fit like a pair of metal undies, to be fitted onto a "faithful" wife while her husband was away for months at end. The Crusading Husband then had the ease of mind that all will be well, because he has the only key.
With no relation to this matter in any way, the University of London oddly enough had a 5000% increase in requests to study Locksmithing. The Professors suspected that it was purely for the Lock Picking class, and suspected a new crime wave was brewing in the shadows.
After the Church of England hired private professors and experts to get all the priests' skilled in the art of lock picking, these professors just shrugged it off as the latest trend and metaphor to unlocking one's heart to be closer to God.
mottamort
Bargain Hunter
Its the highly controversial alpha version of what is now known as the "tin foil hat".
See, some believe that the government found out how effective this bronze material was at blocking their mind control brainwaves, and actually physically removed the inventor, his family and the entire town he lived in. They then pushed the "tin foil" concept via their rooted spies, knowing it actually focuses the beams, creating a false army of "conspiracy nuts" that they use to monitor 99% of communications. Nobody questions HOW a conspiracy nut gets his theories does he!
See, some believe that the government found out how effective this bronze material was at blocking their mind control brainwaves, and actually physically removed the inventor, his family and the entire town he lived in. They then pushed the "tin foil" concept via their rooted spies, knowing it actually focuses the beams, creating a false army of "conspiracy nuts" that they use to monitor 99% of communications. Nobody questions HOW a conspiracy nut gets his theories does he!
DieGrootHammer
Daddy TK
Image 59
Weight-loss device from 1855
This device would be filled with a mixture of hot water, Aloe-extracts, fawn urine and coriander and placed on the belly of the obese person. The person will have to lay with this device on their belly for at least 6 hours, with regular refills to ensure maximum efficiency. Unfortunately people that used this device got such severe burns on their stomach that it was discontinued completely
Years later, after researchers from England found out this device was used, people discovered that they in fact used old relic chastity belts in what was billed as the biggest skam in personal weight-loss of the 19th century
Ike_009
Assassin of Accountants
It's a divers emergency secondary air source from the 1860s. The valve as can be seen in the picture would be used to fill the device to 20 bar, this would allow the diver 5 emergency breaths to reach the surface (depending on their lung size). The device would be strapped across their stomach, thus the shape, an in the event their diving suit failed they could connect their suit to the valve and slowly leak fresh air into their suit to survive. This would give the diver some time to keep breathing whilst the surface crew pulled the diver up from the surface.
The only problem with device was that because the dive suits were very heavy at the time it was not always easy for surface crews to pull up divers quickly. Thus depending on the depth, surface conditions and strength of the surface crew, the diver could die before reaching the surface. Thus the handholds provided extra grip in the case of an unconscious or unresponsive diver in pulling the diver onto the ship.
The only problem with device was that because the dive suits were very heavy at the time it was not always easy for surface crews to pull up divers quickly. Thus depending on the depth, surface conditions and strength of the surface crew, the diver could die before reaching the surface. Thus the handholds provided extra grip in the case of an unconscious or unresponsive diver in pulling the diver onto the ship.
Mister 44
New member
"Ye Olde Reserve Fuel Tank" as used by the Knights Templar to refuel their Harleys whilst out and about on Crusades. Although the image in question is clearly an example of a tank used by the Knights Templar, the design actually dates back to the the original Freemasons in the time of King Solomon. The "free" in Freemason refers to the lead-free (what we call "Unleaded") 95 octane petrol the masons were paid with for their services which they collected with these tanks. The masons did not, however, use the fuel for their motorcycles like the Knights Templar later did, but rather used it exclusively to manufacture a type of petrol bomb known as a Molietovie Kokketiel. This practice proved unwise when it resulted in the first official arms-race in world history, fought between the three largest lodges in and around Jerusalem at the time. Anecdotal evidence suggest that at the height of the race, each lodge had enough petrol bombs stored to destroy Jerusalem three times over.
Ike_009
Assassin of Accountants
foozball3000
New member
Should we send an Error Report?
Ike_009
Assassin of Accountants
MalicE
Party time! Excellent!
no it's obviously juice.4gw
Mister 44
New member
Juice is the keeper of the root password to the server of life.
MalicE
Party time! Excellent!
he is.... THE ARCHITECT
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