After a Break Up

I personally took some time out for myself, did some souls searching and as fate would have it bumped into the woman I would eventually marry (and have been married to for the last 2 years). There is no sure fire way to make you feel better and what works for one person might not work for another. Take the time and work through it, stupid and chicle as it sounds eventually it does get better.
 
MalicE said:
Write het number on a toilet stall wall :p

it's tough dude, I was once in a similar situation where I had to work with the ex, angry music got me through the first week, that and a lot of booze

but the most important thing it to not put your life on hold! breakups suck, I know that VERY well, but if you withdraw and stay in a lump it will get worse. Go out and LIVE. Party with your mates, do stuff you couldn't normally do. The key is staying busy, because an idle mind can be MUCH worse than idle hands

stongs bro, and good luck!
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Angry Music Good.
Booze = Bad.
 
Murph said:
Cliched or not, it's true.

You need to give yourself time and you both need to give each other space (so no phoning, smsing, emailing). When I broke up with my long term girfriend years ago, I was miserable and pissed for ages. After a while, I decided that I can't go on living like this, so I phoned her up, told her that I was sorry about it ended and that I was burying the hatchet once and for all. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders because she felt better and I felt better. Of course, you need to decide if you want to carry on being friends with her (I'm still friends with mine) or part ways completely (which I would assume you don't).

In short, don't blame yourself, don't fight what you're feeling, keep your friends and family close and focus on something you enjoy doing. Don't turf/burn photos/letters etc and plot revenge of any kind - you will only regret that later.
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Also its kinda creepy.
 
MalicE said:
LOL!

yeah that was a long time ago, when I was still 'n heavyweight drinker, looking back now it was bad yes :D
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I would actually say avoid drinking. I think I got wasted the night me and my ex split but after that I didn't touch booze. Becoming dependant on an outside substance to "numb" the pain is a slippery slope.
 
simon said:
Thanks for the suggestions.
I have spent most nights out drinking with friends (not good for me since I don't really drink) since Friday night (night it happened). I have tossed all the stuff of memories out my room and am hoping she comes to collect it all this weekend for obvious reasons.
Right now what is making sense to me is going on a "sleep over" binge.
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If by "Sleep over" binge you mean meaningless sexual encounters with women I agree with Murphzor.
 
simon said:
why not?
for me, I still see her as the one I want to marry, but I don't know if that is her perspective because of the apparent reasons she gave when she broke up, but that how do I say, stuff that goes along with it with random encounters to me seems like it would help me
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Because you will end up hating yourself. Trust me on this I also felt that I wanted to get back together with my ex and I went to a really dark place after it became clear that she didn't feel the same and did one of the things I had always sworn I would never do, In my 27 years its one of my biggest regrets. Sure the short term it may "feel" good but it wont last and when you do finally meet that perfect woman or even get back together with ur current ex do you really want to confess you aimless random sexual partners? Do you think that will make things better? Nope if your back with your ex she may find u disgusting and send u packing again. If you find a new perfect woman it may destroy something that could have been. I was fortunate enough that my wife understood the reasons for me doing what I did and understood that I felt worse about and did need to be "punished" or anything like that.
 
Mother is the name for god on the lips and hearts of all children.
 
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simon said:
And that is the exact reasons why I am holding myself back. There are a lot of unanswered questions that I have to ask her and cannot move on till they are answered, those answers will take a long time due to certain reasons and I feel like I am being strung along. So I guess the reasons for doing it are to help me move on, closure, comfort and moral boosting.
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My Advice is to just move on and accept that all the questions will never be answered to your satisfaction. Holding onto those and other "what ifs" will only lead you down a depressing path. Also doing it wont help you move on and it wont boost your moral, it will have the opposite effect. Find comfort and a boost in the company of your friends, closure comes in time like when I see my Ex on Fb and see she is still single, still living at home, still the same miserable cow she was when we split and I realise that if I had stayed with her I would have been just as miserable.
 
OmegaFenix said:
My Advice is to just move on and accept that all the questions will never be answered to your satisfaction. Holding onto those and other "what ifs" will only lead you down a depressing path. Also doing it wont help you move on and it wont boost your moral, it will have the opposite effect. Find comfort and a boost in the company of your friends, closure comes in time like when I see my Ex on Fb and see she is still single, still living at home, still the same miserable cow she was when we split and I realise that if I had stayed with her I would have been just as miserable.
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Dude I went and looked up mine on Failbook the other day and found that she is like a fatty now bwahahahahahahaha... I like the revenge that came to her since our nasty breakup.
 
simon said:
Thanks Omega. You really have given me good advice. I guess I just need to have stronger will power then my vulnerability. Best of luck to me then... :) I would give you +1 but it won't let me again so, here have a cookie. This is my favourite type so
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What?! Why wont it let you give me rep? You haven't been one of the last 10 people to give me rep (either positive or negative). :mad: I call HAX!

EDIT: Thanks for cookies though, u dont find Romany Creams here. :cry:
 
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