I just quickly scanned through this thread, but i am using PLEX , which not only have the standard DLNA/Upnp streaming (so your console can connect to it) , but the iOS and Android apps are of the better apps i've seen.
If you do end up viewing your content on your phone/tablet (or plugging your device into your tv) , then the PLEX app is pretty cool and does what XBMC does, without the interface thing (i.e. it will look up details about the shows/movies like reviews, art etc). It's always nice how it will play the series theme song when you browse into a series' folder on Plex etc.
I used to use TVersity, but they have fallen behind, PLEX is similar to TVersity, just better support and great apps on mobile devices (and the desktop app is free). They also got their app for the ROKU media player (kinda like Apple TV). Also the bit that costs money in Tversity, is free in Plex (i.e ability to stream content from Youtube/Vimeo/online sites).
Anyway, plex :
http://www.plexapp.com/
I use my Plex server to stream to my Xbox, iPad and Nexus (Android) and my Raspberry Pi . The amusing thing is, my Raspberry Pi runs XBMC (so it's actually it's own media server too) , but i find it easier to work on my Phone/Tablet and tell the app to connect to my Plex server (which is a PC) and play the content on my Raspberry Pi or Xbox (which is connected to the TV). Basically it becomes a wifi remote. So if everything is on the same WIFI network, you can do quite a few interesting things.
EDIT: And i've also tried XBMC, didn't want the full screen interface. My PC is a "silent server", so it's screen is never on or connected to a TV, hence the XBMC interface is a hindrance. Now on my Raspberry PI it makes sense, because then XBMC interface is actually displayed on my TV.
So for XBox unfortunately, you need to work with whatever Microsoft gives you. So you miss out on features that a dedicated Plex/Xbmc app can give you. The important part is that your DLNA/Upnp server has "sensible" indexes. The indexes basically is the "folders" which you browse on the Xbox. PLEX gives me "recently added" and "recently aired" to name 2 examples i use all the time , so it's easy to get to the new stuff etc. In contrast, TVersity only gave me the raw folder structure of my series as it was located my PC, without all the indexes Plex gave me.