the JOKE thread
- Thread starter wizdumb
- Start date
MissileToe
New member
I have seen worse wasnt that dirty at all
It's dirty in my imagination!
Ichigo
New member
MissileToe
New member
Thankgoodness I cant read your mind or it would give me nightmares
Yes, it very likely would do that.
Here's another:
Q: What did the blind man say as he walked past the fishmonger's stall at the market?
A: Morning, ladies!
Totally stole that one from the Sopranos.
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MalicE
Party time! Excellent!
Die drie Van der Merwe nefies is vir die derde jaar in Standard 5.
Op 'n dag gly die juffrou in die klas en val. Die nefies lag al te lekker
vir haar.
Baie vies, vra die Juffrou vir die eerste een: "Wat het jy gesien?"
"Net die kuite Juffrou."
"Ongeskik! Huis toe vir die res van die dag!"
"En JY!" vra sy die tweede een.
"Juffrou, net die boude."
"Sies jou vark! Nog erger! Uit my klas vir die res van die week!"
Toe die juffrou omdraai pak klein Koos al sy goed in sy tas.
"En jy, waarheen dink jy gaan jy?"
"Juffrou, na wat ek gesien het dink ek my skoolloopbaan is in sy moer!"
Op 'n dag gly die juffrou in die klas en val. Die nefies lag al te lekker
vir haar.
Baie vies, vra die Juffrou vir die eerste een: "Wat het jy gesien?"
"Net die kuite Juffrou."
"Ongeskik! Huis toe vir die res van die dag!"
"En JY!" vra sy die tweede een.
"Juffrou, net die boude."
"Sies jou vark! Nog erger! Uit my klas vir die res van die week!"
Toe die juffrou omdraai pak klein Koos al sy goed in sy tas.
"En jy, waarheen dink jy gaan jy?"
"Juffrou, na wat ek gesien het dink ek my skoolloopbaan is in sy moer!"
ViperGTI
New member
I am a sick old man. I was sick and in the hospital.
There was one nurse that just drove me crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child.
She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, 'And how are we doing this morning?', Or 'Are we ready for a bath?', or 'Are we hungry ?'
I had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day, at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bed side stand.
Later, I was given a urine bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went !
The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. 'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, 'Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time.'
The nurse fainted. I just smiled.
DON'T MESS WITH 'OLD' PEOPLE!
There was one nurse that just drove me crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child.
She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, 'And how are we doing this morning?', Or 'Are we ready for a bath?', or 'Are we hungry ?'
I had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day, at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bed side stand.
Later, I was given a urine bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went !
The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. 'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, 'Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time.'
The nurse fainted. I just smiled.
DON'T MESS WITH 'OLD' PEOPLE!
MalicE
Party time! Excellent!
Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in South Africa.
The Mayor of the South African town visited the Spanish town.
When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.
The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a four-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built".
The following year the Spaniard visited the South African town.
He was simply amazed at the South African Mayor's house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvelous.
When he asked how this could be afforded the South African said; "You see that bridge over there?"
The Spaniard replied: "No."
The Mayor of the South African town visited the Spanish town.
When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.
The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a four-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built".
The following year the Spaniard visited the South African town.
He was simply amazed at the South African Mayor's house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvelous.
When he asked how this could be afforded the South African said; "You see that bridge over there?"
The Spaniard replied: "No."
McT
New member
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support payments tohttp://mygaming.co.za/newsbegin.
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McT
New member
Joke was funny but hard to read. And now I want pasta.
See above post. That's why I deleted it. What the heck happened? I copied and pasted it out of Gmail and into the thread using a tablet. Why?
Ichigo
New member
See above post. That's why I deleted it. What the heck happened? I copied and pasted it out of Gmail and into the thread using a tablet. Why?
I would rather download it then upload it using the attachment option, since it seems to change the size of the picture for some reason when I tried earlier today when posting the asterix comic.
MetalSoup
There's a GIF for that
His joke text was full of links to the MyGaming news page. Very strange. Perhaps something in the clipboard was messed up.
Ichigo
New member
McT
New member
A policeman pulled me over and said “papers“. I replied “scissors, I win“ and drove off. He must want a rematch because he's been chasing me for miles now...
It's Grendel!
maybe he copied the wrong link or the gremlins are attacking
It's Grendel!
ViperGTI
New member
Dear Deirdre,
My boyfriend is a right arsehole!
He told me the best cure for constipation was anal sex. I didn't believe him but after some persuasion he talked me into it and I let him stick his enormous cock into my tiny little bum.
He shagged me really hard for some considerable time which left me sore for a couple of days.
He's just rung me this morning saying he wants to try it again as he's still constipated.
What should I do?
Sharon of Essex
My boyfriend is a right arsehole!
He told me the best cure for constipation was anal sex. I didn't believe him but after some persuasion he talked me into it and I let him stick his enormous cock into my tiny little bum.
He shagged me really hard for some considerable time which left me sore for a couple of days.
He's just rung me this morning saying he wants to try it again as he's still constipated.
What should I do?
Sharon of Essex
korn1
New member
ViperGTI
New member
A drunken woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi at Fortitude Valley in Brisbane.
The Indian driver opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the Cab.
"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..."
"Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"
"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me!?"
The Indian driver opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the Cab.
"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..."
"Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"
"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me!?"