Thread Killer - Gaming Edition (PG13)

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A drinking joke for the guys

A Nigerian, a Mozambican and a South African are sitting in a South African pub having a pint of beer.

The Nigerian grabs his beer, downs it, throws his glass into the air, draws a handgun and shoots the glass in mid-air. He grins at the other two, puts the gun down on the bar and shouts: "In Nigeria we have so many glasses we never drink out of the same glass twice."

The Mozambican then downs his beer, throws his glass into the air, grabs the gun off the bar, shoots the glass, puts the gun back on the bar and says: "Heela, in Mozambique we have so much sand which makes glass
really cheap, so we too, never drink out of the same glass twice."

The South African finishes his beer, puts the glass down on the bar, picks up the gun, shoots both the Nigerian and Mozambican and says to the barman: "In South Africa we have so many Nigerians and Mozambicans that we never have to drink with the same ones twice."
 
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He goes to German Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told :

first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.

He checks out the USA Hell as well as the Russian Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.

Then he comes to the South African Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told:



first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".
“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?" he asks.

"Because Eskom is struggling and is powerless, there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work.
The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on.
And, on top of that, the South African devil is a government employee, he wont come to work till he gets his 12% increase, which of course may never happen!
 
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