Let me guess, Avril Lavigne is your idea of the archetypical punk rocker?
You suck so much.
So honestly, and with love for punk rock and for music in general: fck you for claiming that you know anything about punk rock, much less in comparison to your unfortunate exposure to the last 10 years of made-for-Hot-Topic "punk tribute" bands; fck you for mentioning FEAR and Blink182 in the same sentence; and fck you for having absolutely no perspective or understanding of what Punk Rock is, you idiot. Seriously, saying 'Miley Cyrus is the edgiest pop star out there' is little more than calling her the biggest piece of corn in the turd. And that makes you a corn-counter.
Your shitty writing is the Miley Cyrus of journalism. And neither of you are punk rock. Maybe punk-ass... Haha, see what I did there? You like clever writing, yeah?
Admittedly, I haven't really kept up with 'pop punk' bands - because that's an offensive contradiction, you asshole - but help me here: are there any other celebrity spawned former Disney star Top 40 "Punk Rock" bands since punk morphed into hardcore in 1985?
Is Kanye 'kinda punk rock' because he's got a dickish attitude?
Clearly, the oldies out there doing reunion tours are just reliving the glory days for nostalgia's sake and a buck or two, and that's kind of the unspoken agreement. Anyone else who ever was part of the movement has moved on and is evolving. And *that's* punk rock - Johnny Rotten now plays dance music, Jello Biafra is creating different art and is involved as an activist, Mike Ness plays rock n roll dressed like a cholo, and Henry Rollins expresses himself wherever they'll let him. None of them ever made poorly conceived faux-art videos with "literal symbolism" (i.e. riding a wrecking ball while singing about being a wrecking ball). And licking a sledgehammer is just, well - licking a tool. That's porn, not punk rock, stupid.
We're not all slut-shaming, many of us are not-anywhere-near-pulling-it-off-shaming.
And I have to ask, have you seen cheerleaders anywhere besides The State School? Miley's dribblebutt is truly alarming for a 21 year old that spends 2 hours a day singing and dancing professionally. I wish you were being ironic, because then this would be a truly genius piece. As it reads, you should really be writing about how misunderstood Kim Kardashian is, not music - of any kind.
Maybe its not fair to have the mental image I have of you transcribing this piece from your memories of an overly confident drunken rant, where you put one hand on your hip, elbow forward, obnoxiously smacking your gum and using your phony nightclub bitchvoice. Here's the litmus test: if you've ever said "that's soooo punk rock" - just shut the fck up. Write about Ted Talks or something.
Thanks for letting me hate on you. Apparently I needed to do it. Now back to my post-punk life where I occasionally think I need to school dipshits like you.
But seriously, stop ruining music and journalism for everyone.
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