OMG!
I just received the most entertaining scam email ever. I'd post it here, but it is 1400 words long.
So just a summary of the highlights:
Email was send by the FBI Anti-terrorist and Monetary Crimes division, Scammed Victims Unit to inform me that I won $3.5mil from the United Nations World Organization "due to the uncontrollable fraudulent activities which has been going on in the United State Of America and most part of the World." I didn't misspell, that is what they say: I won because of the fraud.
Now the English gets more difficult to follow, but apparently FBI Homeland Security got my email address when they raided some guy.
"He was cut sending fake ATM card and Bank Cheques to people and on the investigation process a group of email addresses of America citizen who has been scam lot of money where found in his PC. They have been taken to Court for persecution."
Yip. Persecution. I can only guess that execution will follow soon.
That was only the first two paragraphs of the five page email. They go on to explain that the Secretary-General of the UN and the President of the FBI decided, fuck it, let's give each email address $3.5mil.
Then they explain how a corrupt government official "who almost held the funds to themselves for their selfish reasons" was caught before he could make off with my money.
OK, but then "National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation" figured out what was going on and they told the Governor of Washington DC to get a move on with paying me. He then figures out that all those emails I was getting about winning obscure lotteries and inheritances were not fake, but the corrupt government officials kept the money from me.
Lots of hilarity ensues in the pages that follow until they provide me with the names of 3 other winners, tracking numbers and a link to the UPS website (legit link) to prove they are not scamming me.
"Below are few list of tracking numbers you can track from the (UPS) Website (
WWW.UPS.COM). To confirm beneficiaries like you who have received their payment successfully."
I almost want to give them money just to compensate them for the joy they have provided me with today.