Today:
I worked my ass off.
I had to see how a house one block from my own house burned down (nobody hurt).
I had to pick up the hood of my chimney on my front lawn that blew off in high winds.
I had to push newspapers into my R20K cast iron fireplace in an attempt to dry it because rain blew into the chimney (before the above point). It's already rusting.
I had to clean up my study because the rain, hail and winds caused the roof to leak so severely my entire desk was covered by about 5mm of water.
Will the fucker who is playing with my Voodoo doll stop now please? (I wanted to say shove it up his ass, but then my toilet will probably get blocked).