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Thread: the JOKE thread

  1. #1

    Default the JOKE thread

    so if you know a funny joke, or received a cool one, post 'em here.

    lets lighten up the day

    my last joke email received

    **

    Zuma: "Julius, what's for lunch?"
    Julius: "My Comrade President.....Full chicken, four rolls...bla bla bla from Nandos for only R99.95"
    Zuma: Well, take some money from the petty cash"
    Julius: It's free My Comrade"
    Zuma: "Free? How so?"
    Julius: "I went to Nandos and told them it was for you and they should drop the charges!!!"

  2. #2

    Default

    Looooooooooooooooooooooooooool!

  3. #3

    Default

    found one of my fav jokes (thx to google) - old one, but still funny

    An Italian, an Irishman & a Chinese man are hired to work on a construction site. On the first day the foreman points to a huge pile of sand & says to the Italian," You're in charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling." To the Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of supplies."

    He tells them that he has to go somewhere & when he returns 2 hours later he finds the huge pile of sand untouched..

    "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" he asks the Italian. The Italian replies in a heavy accent," I no gotta broom, an you tella me dat da Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies but he disappear & I no finda him".

    The foreman then turns to the Irishman & asks why he didn't shovel. "Aye, well I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies but I couldna find him".

    The foreman is furious & storms off looking for the Chinese fellow. He can't find him anywhere & is getting angrier by the minute.

    Suddenly the Chinese man jumps out from behind the pile of sand & yells, "Supplies"

  4. #4
    Thread Killer Mk III Wenzdayz's Avatar
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    Default

    Laugh out loud

  5. #5

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    A rabbit walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender and says, "I want a cup of coffee.” The bartender says, "We don’t serve coffee here"
    So the Rabbit leaves, but when he leaves he sees two friends entering the bar so he joins them. His friends ask for a beer and sandwich but the rabbit says "I wanna cup of coffee"
    The bartender says, "We don’t serve coffee here"
    So the rabbit leaves again, but he sees two more friends so he joins them in the bar. His friends order a beer and a sandwich but the Rabbit still says, "I want a cup of coffee"
    "Look,” says the bartender "we don’t serve coffee here. Now leave or I will nail your ears to the bar!"
    So the rabbit leaves, but he yet again sees two more friends and enters the bar.
    But this time the rabbit says, "Do you have a hammer?"
    "No" replies the bartender
    Do you have any nails?"
    "No"
    "Then I want a cup of coffee"

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wizdumb View Post
    found one of my fav jokes (thx to google) - old one, but still funny

    an italian, an irishman & a chinese man are hired to work on a construction site. On the first day the foreman points to a huge pile of sand & says to the italian," you're in charge of sweeping." to the irishman he says, "you're in charge of shovelling." to the chinese man he says, "you're in charge of supplies."

    he tells them that he has to go somewhere & when he returns 2 hours later he finds the huge pile of sand untouched..

    "why didn't you sweep any of it?" he asks the italian. The italian replies in a heavy accent," i no gotta broom, an you tella me dat da chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies but he disappear & i no finda him".

    The foreman then turns to the irishman & asks why he didn't shovel. "aye, well i couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the chinese fella in charge of supplies but i couldna find him".

    The foreman is furious & storms off looking for the chinese fellow. He can't find him anywhere & is getting angrier by the minute.

    Suddenly the chinese man jumps out from behind the pile of sand & yells, "supplies"


    looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!

  7. #7

    Default

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
    The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
    The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
    There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

  8. #8

    Default

    ^ hahaha....

    ...that joke could be applicable to george w bush

  9. #9

    Default

    looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

  10. #10

    Default

    the wording makes it seems like its a capie joke, but anyways funny and gross at the same time

    When I was a young laaitie, making out in the biscope was the

    ultimate thing to do. You know, sitting right at the back of the

    cinema in a dark corner with one of the hottest honeys in the southern

    suburbs, ja hey, life just didn't get any better than that.



    On one such evening I managed to get this hotty from Wynberg Girls To

    accompany me to the Luxarama (lets face it, the Luxy rikked back then)

    and true to my nature we sat right at the back of the Luxy and as soon

    as the lights went out we started our vrying session. Now don't get me

    wrong, this kind was super hot and she had the softest lips I ever

    come

    across but there was one thing bothering me, this kind kept on shoving

    her bubblegum in my bek while kissing and normally that wouldn't

    bother me but the bubblegum had bogerol taste left so it was just

    morsig.



    So after the third time she shoved it in my bek and I shoved it back

    in her's I stopped kissing her and asked her to remove her bubblegum.

    When she asked me what bubblegum my moer stripped and told her the

    blerrie bubblegum you been shoving in my bek the whole time. She

    said:"oh sorry i'm not chewing any bubblegum, I'm just suffering from

    a bit of Bronchitis".

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