Adidas Unveils New Running Shoe For Fleeing From Mass Shootings

Edelweiss

Edelweiss

New member
So I just stumbled across this article and just had to share it.

From its reinforced tread engineered specifically for running in a zigzag pattern to its whisper-quiet, low-squeak rubber, the Bystander combines speed and stealth to create the perfect shoe for escaping or hiding from an armed murderer,” Adidas CEO Herbert Hainer said at a press conference. “And its brand-new Firmo-Grip sole minimizes slippage, even when you’re panicked and need to move quickly through puddles of freshly spilled blood. No shoe has ever been better suited for today’s running, crouching, and cowering needs.” The shoes, which go on sale at the end of the month, will be available for wearers as young as 5.
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:wtf: Who's target market??

sauce: http://www.theonion.com/articles/adidas-unveils-new-running-shoe-for-fleeing-from-m,32432/
 
So I just stumbled across this article and just had to share it.

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From its reinforced tread engineered specifically for running in a zigzag pattern to its whisper-quiet, low-squeak rubber, the Bystander combines speed and stealth to create the perfect shoe for escaping or hiding from an armed murderer,” Adidas CEO Herbert Hainer said at a press conference. “And its brand-new Firmo-Grip sole minimizes slippage, even when you’re panicked and need to move quickly through puddles of freshly spilled blood. No shoe has ever been better suited for today’s running, crouching, and cowering needs.” The shoes, which go on sale at the end of the month, will be available for wearers as young as 5.
Click to expand...

:wtf: Who's target market??

sauce: http://www.theonion.com/articles/adidas-unveils-new-running-shoe-for-fleeing-from-m,32432/
 
Eugene said:
Did you post this twice?
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why would I post something so shameful twice?? Please don't reply to this thread anymore lol
Please remove this thread!
EDIT: OMFG I DID! THE WORST DAY EVER!!!!! :(:(:(
pm'ed James to remove point penalty deduction for duped threads
sorry guys.
Thread closed.
 
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Why would we close down such comedy gold?

Sorry, Edelweiss, you're not living this one down today ;D

(karma will probably kick me in the nuts for this and tomorrow it'll be me)
 
Lol, this is so funny! I read the first comment and was like: "Maybe I need a pair of those." Don't worry Edelweiss, I also didn't know about The Onion. :D
 
Eugene said:
Did you post this twice?
Click to expand...

If it's nice, post it twice, Edelweiss. :)

Reading through the OP I couldn't help but chuckle. It sounds sick but I appreciate gallows humour.

Hey Edelweiss, also watch out for Cracked in future. Don't take anything they say seriously either. Just a heads up.
 
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