And they're also potentially hurtful. I know you feel that the burden of offence is on the offended, but I prefer to to err on the side of not offending people in the first place. I know that comes off somewhat sanctimonious, but that's not really my intention.
As a woman, I'm offended by the assumption that I know nothing about games, for example - an assumption that is still perpetuated by comments under my articles sometimes for no other reason than that I'm a woman. I remember once mentioning Planescape Torment in an article, and one commentator saying, "Oh, like you really played that." If I were a man, I wouldn't have to deal with that shit. Having dealt with it, though, I suppose I've developed some social sensitivity about it, which in turn has changed the way I speak to and about other people. I don't think that's a bad thing.
I understand and respect that.
We're going to have to disagree on this though--no-one has the "right" to be offended and yes, I feel that the burden of offence is on the offended.
Of course I believe that it is important to be kind and considerate to others who may not always understand that it's not your intention to offend or hurt them and that it's their choice to interpret your words/actions as such. But I also find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that in many cases the people who don the self-righteous air of offence insist that their sensibilities are far more important than your freedom to express yourself and that is something I simply don't believe is justifiable.
This is about expressing yourself with something as simple as the word "cunt" or as complex as expressing fondness for your partner who may be the same gender as you with a hug or a gentle nudge.
I would never want to hurt someone's feelings intentionally and certainly not without being back-handed first. So I hope that's not what you think of me.
I'm also aware of what you deal with and I know that it's difficult as well as incredibly infuriating. However, I am not a cretinous oaf without a moral compass or sense of compassion and sensitivity to others.
I simply don't see the point of toeing around other people's sensibilities. I learnt long ago that people have a choice to read and to respond to what you've written (such is the blessed advantage of the written medium). If someone begins trailing off on absolute nonsense or they irritate me, I switch off and get on with my life.
I don't expect anything less should someone read something I've written and feel that it's a waste of their time or that it's offensive. Stop reading it and get on with your life.
Should I ever, by some fluke, cross the line and resort to hate speech then by all means, put me out of my misery (because that would be a bloody sad day for me).
Until then, whatever faux offence anyone takes at something I've written is precisely that: an elaborate excuse to get onto their high horses and wet themselves in the name of self-righteous autofellatio.
If gays can laugh at themselves, if blonde women (and men) can poke fun at themselves when they do something goofy then I don't see a reason for it to be the end of the world when someone cracks a stereotypical joke.
Otherwise how much longer until the old racial stereotypes like "white men can't jump" become offensive too? Of course, I'm sure it already is by some nutjob out there with a chip on their shoulder.
I'm honestly quite shocked to read this coming from you, and I absolutely disagree. Making prejudiced assumptions about people's intelligence on the basis of the clothes they wear is horrible.
I seem to be on a roll today.
It's not just their intelligence I make prejudiced assumptions about but their lifestyles, personalities, hygiene, self-esteem, history, manners and demeanour amongst other things as well.
This, for example, is something I will wholeheartedly be prejudiced toward. I don't care if she's a rocket scientist, a chemical engineer, a lawyer, a doctor or a prostitute. She looks awful, dresses badly and I wouldn't dare be seen in the company of someone like that.
You may think of me what you will but would you be happy to be in the company of this fine gentleman?:
I don't believe you would. It's embarrassing and frankly, anyone who cannot take care of themselves immediately sets off a fair number of warnings.
Again, I will never be mean to such people and they're welcome to dress and manage themselves in whatever way they wish. Everyone has one life to live and by all means, live it in whatever way you see fit as long as it doesn't harm anyone else.
Oh, and one thing about you just to get it out there: you are a woman, yes and that's great and all that, but you're also a fantastic writer and you've earned your fame, your fans and your brownie points over the years. You did that on your own merits despite being having a particular arrangement of genitalia and despite the heavily sexist bigotry that you've had to endure.
I've never understood the need you seem to have to prove yourself. At least, that's what I understand from being offended by the assumptions of other people. I find it bizarre. You know you're a prestigious writer, you know that you've been a gamer since you were wee high and you are one of the most confident and self-certain people I've ever come across.
But you allow yourself to be offended by know-nothing jerks who have no say, no influence and no bearing on your life? You just give them power by allowing yourself to be offended by such naivete.
This is why I find offence such a silly thing.
If I had to allow myself to be offended by every homophobic prick I've come across in my life, or every time somebody said something nasty about me or had the audacity to run to teacher because I wouldn't scratch out the big scary word I wrote, I would have fallen apart a long time ago.
Offence is something I have no use for. I am too tired of being angry and upset because of OTHER people.
Unless someone is actively doing the, "You should be fucking killed you fucking faggot" thing at me, I really couldn't care less. And even then, if it's online, I take it with a bucket of salt and simply report it if possible.
I'm tempted to say that you should stop feeling sorry for yourself for being judged as a woman first and a gamer second (by what I'm sure is a exceptionally vocal minority). If you weren't getting all sorts of crap, you'd have to worry about whether or not anyone was actually paying attention to you. They are, you're successful, KICK ASS, damnit and ride that wave home.
Keep doing what you do best and letting OTHER people be offended because you are everything they're not and because you have the balls to do it well and without letting them offend YOU.
*mumble* *mumble* What the fuck am I on about...
For the record, I haven't slept in far too long.
GO AWAY. DON'T LOOK AT ME.